Guyside: Does my gut look big in this world?
This is the first installment of a new Flashfree column by Bob LeDrew. Guyside is one man’s take on some of the issues that I’ve been addressing for years on FlashFree. So, show some love, eh? And share widely!!! — Liz
If Liz wants to “rebel, reveal and revel in the here and now,” I’m in. So why should you listen to me? Good question. I’m not a doctor. The only “-ist” tag that applies to me is “bicyclist.”
What I am is a guy approaching midlife with many of the same events and issues in my past and present that you likely have. Aging parents? Yup. Experience with acute and chronic illnesses? Yup. One of the seminal events of my adult life was being diagnosed with bladder cancer in 2006; one of the seminal events of my childhood was the loss of a brother to suicide.
Health isn’t a Boy Scout badge to achieve and forget about. And it’s not something you can only achieve with a team of professionals doing everything from dosing you with the newest supplement or pushing you to that 300th crunch. Real health, as I see it, is more like a gyroscope. Sometimes it gets knocked off its axis, and you have to give it time to get back into balance. And it’s about more than little blue pills, marathon running, or getting just the right amount of gray in whatever hair you have left.
It’s about knowing your body and your mind, and working with them to find balance points.
I used to be a journalist, once upon a time, and my plan is to use this column as an excuse to learn about issues that matter to me and I think will matter to you too. The more feedback you give me, the better a job I can do for me and for you.
Now, on to the column!
Guyside: Does my gut look big in this world?
There’s no shortage of discussion in this world about women and body image. But as a guy, let me tell you that we get those issues going too, especially at this time of year when the temperatures rise and the shirts come off. Or at least are supposed to.
One friend pointed out to me that her husband and his friends (who, she says, “look good!”) will NOT take their shirts off. I know that in the past when I’ve gone to company picnics and the like, the idea of my torso on display is a little off-putting to me (or perhaps it’s that it’s going to be off-putting to others that’s off-putting to me).
So where does all this come from? And do men work through body image issues differently than women?
Well, for me, there are a few things that I’ve noticed as I’ve aged. Throughout my teens and twenties, I could and did eat EVERYTHING I wanted, in great quantities. And whatever I ate, I still had a body shape that once inspired my dad to ask me if I had to run around in the shower to get wet.
In the last 15 years, that changed. Now, while I can still eat a LOT of food, I have immediate aftereffects, and I also have that longer-term effect of going from six-foot-one and 140 to … looking like a pear perched on two chopsticks. Of course, there’s the hair growth in surprising places. The ears bug me. The back, not so much for me, although the person who shares my life regularly threatens me with waxing or electrolysis.
When I turned 30, I discovered a sport that I really enjoyed: cycling. And while I rely on cycling for both physical fitness and stress management, I have to admit that the classic cyclist’s body is not Michelangelo-worthy. Big legs, small arms, perhaps best illustrated in the great animated film “The Triplets of Belleville” (right)
And, I suspect, like women, I look at male athletes or entertainment stars and think about what I could do to make my body look like theirs. Which rarely translates into me actually DOING anything to create that chiseled body I see onscreen.
But I know only too well that my body will NEVER be confused for that of Ryan Gosling or Matthew McConaughey.
Blogger Kate Fridkis writes: “I have heard guys talk in such black and white terms about their decisions. Something is wrong. They’re supposed to take charge. If there’s a problem, it needs to be fixed. Weight needs to be lost, muscle needs to be gained, it’s that straightforward… Guys have told me. ‘Either I look good or I look like shit.'”
She argues that this sort of black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking is more characteristic of men than of women. That may well be. What’s obvious from casual conversations with friends of both sexes about body image is that we all have issues around it. I think it’s more common that men throw up their hands and “give up” on their body, where it seems that women are much more persistent in trying to mold themselves into the body they believe they “should” have by various means.
What do you think?
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She who laughs…
lasts.
I imagine that the link between laughter and health is no surprise. After all, that deep in your belly, can’t stop it hurts, tears rolling down your face laughter may actually go a lot further than a moment of sheer bliss.
This past weekend, I spent time with friends and family members with whom I can share a good laugh. I can’t tell you how healing and inspiring that was, so much so that I wanted to resurrect and share a post I wrote a few years back…
Several years ago, researchers discovered that humor therapy and anticipation of laughing or being amused (also known as mirthful laughter) positively affects immunity. In fact, findings from a series of five separate studies among healthy men demonstrated that just anticipating watching a funny video could increase beta-endorphins (hormones that elevated mood) as much as 17% and human growth hormone (which contributes to more optimal immunity) by as much as 87%. Elevated hormones levels were maintained throughout the video and as long as 12 hours after. Conversely, hormone levels did not increase in men who who did not anticipate watching a humorous video and instead, browsed magazines.
Similar results were seen in another study among healthy adult women; this time mirthful laughter was associated with significant declines in stress hormones and improvements in natural killer cells, which contribute favourably to immune function.
More recently, researchers have been examining the effects of mirthful laughter on actual disease states. Findings of a year-long study presented at the Experimental Biology Conference in 2009 suggest that watching a funny, 30-minute video on a daily basis may impart a long lasting impact on health that includes:
- Lower stress hormones (epinephrine and norepinephrine) and related stress levels
- Lower levels of inflammation that can contribute to disease
- Significant improvements in HDL cholesterol
- Significant reductions in harmful C-reactive protein levels (a protein that increase the risk for heart disease, heart attack, stroke and death)
This particular study evaluated laughter in patients with diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol who were also taking medication. Notably, similar positive outcomes were not seen in patients who did not have the benefit of watching the funny video.
Simulation laughter also appears to work wonders.
In case you are wondering what I’m referring to, simulated laughter is the foundation of laughter yoga, a worldwide movement that focuses on laughter exercises, including:
- Pantomime followed by laughter
- Physical greetings followed by laughter
- Dancing and singing (and laughing exercises)
- Laughing alone
- Laughing meditations
Simulated laughter works in large groups, in pairs and can be playful or exaggerated. The theory underlying simulated laughter is that while the mind can distinguish between spontaneous and simulated laughter, the body cannot. Importantly, research bears this out, and a number of scientifically controlled studies have shown that simulated laughter can lead to reductions in blood pressure, improvements in stress hormone levels, positively affect depression and insomnia and even improve anxiety in chronic pain patients. Regular simulated laughter sessions can be used as effective coping strategies and benefit workplace morale. Even smiling can yield positive effect.
Can anyone do it? Well, clearly, anyone can laugh. But simulated laughter is a technique that is most effective when it’s learned, practiced and developed. Not surprisingly, laughter yoga clubs have popped up across the nation, touting messages of helping people gain a happiness advantage. And data provide sufficient evidence that ‘laughter has positive, quantifiable physiological and psychological effects on certain aspects of health.”
What can we take away from this work and what does it have to do with menopause? Actually, I’d like to ask, what doesn’t it have to do with menopause and midlife?
During the transition, women are subject to hormonal stressors that affect mood, functioning, wellbeing as well as disease risk. If there are simpler, more natural ways to improve healthy states, for example, by daily laughter, shouldn’t we reach for them? I’d rather take a dose of funny over pharma any given day.
Here’s my gift to you: laugh today. And tomorrow. And the next day. And spread the joy. Nothing like a deep belly laugh to take some of life’s challenges away.
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Re-spilling the beans on coffee and caffeine
With all the attention on coffee this week, I thought I’d re-spill the beans with a note of caution: not every cuppa is created equal. It seems fairly intuitive, doesn’t it? Afterall, the gut wrenching motor oil that you pick up at McDonalds is hardly equal to the made to order brew that is sold at one of my local favourites – Peregrine Espresso.
Recently, I ran across an editorial in the online edition of Maturitas that provides a deeper dive into coffee and what we, as consumers, are actually drinking every time we purchase a cup in a coffee shop. And the data may astonish you because while the serving sizes of espresso are within similar ranges, the caffeine content varies as much as two to almost six-fold. And let’s face it; most of us drink coffee for the taste. And for the caffeine effects.
However, as the authors point out, when it comes to commercially purchased coffee, it’s almost impossible to determine how much caffeine one is actually ingesting. This makes it difficult to stay within guidelines outlined by the International Food Council that suggest that moderate intake of caffeine equates to roughly three 8 oz cups a day, or 300 mg per day. (FYI: on average, it takes 5 hours for most adults to metabolize and excrete about half the caffeine consumed — in scientific circles, this is called “half-life”). And while this may seem unimportant to most, too much caffeine not only promotes insomnia or feeling jittery, but in amounts over the moderate intake level, may be downright dangerous for pregnant women (whose fetus can’t metabolize the purine akaloid in coffee). On the flip side? Regular coffee intake can help control gycemic levels (so long as you don’t add sugar), reduce the risk of depression and reduce cognitive decline, especially in women.
So, what do you need to know before you buy that next cuppa?
- Different coffee shops used differing amounts of coffee to prepare their coffee drinks.
- Barista methods vary from shop to shop and factors like water temperature, steam, time brewed, etc, all play a role.
- If you are a latte or cappuccino lover, your espresso is diluted but to what extent is a mystery.
- Beans are harvested, roasted and ground differently from one cup to the next.
The authors say to have no fear but to insist on “good quality, 100% arrabica beans,” and to start paying attention to the process. I think that this advice is a bit far fetched because short of being one of ‘those’ customers, I don’t see how one can control or demand. Starbucks is Starbucks, right? BTW, while the analysis was conducted in Scotland, Starbucks espresson had the lowest level of caffeine per serving — only 51 mg, which begs the question, what are you paying for when you drop $5 on the double espresso?
So, “what’s in your cup?” It’s fairly intuitive that a few visits to the same coffee shop will yield a lot of non-scientific answers; if two espressos cause a whole lotta jitters, have one the next time. That aside, I suggest a home brew to take all questions off the table and help insure that you are getting all of the benefits that you can out of every cup.
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The Stash: guest post by Wendy Scherer
What’s in your ‘just in case’ stash? For many of us, one particular stash is no longer needed. Or is it?! Wendy Scherer weighs in on her stash dilemma: the unneeded tampon.
I’ve always kept a stash of tampons in the guest bathroom and in the master bathroom. Just in case. And, on occasion, it’s been pretty handy for our guests, too. I even bought a really cool old box when we moved into our home 3 years ago – specifically for extra toilet paper and tampons. Love the box.
It occurred to me today that maybe there’s a shelf life for tampons. While this may definitely fall into <em>too much information</em> category, I haven’t needed one since a couple months after we moved here. And clearly, no one in my family (3 sons and a husband) needs any. And frankly, I don’t think we’ve had any guests who have partaken of the bounty, either.
And so, they sit there in the box. Unneeded.
I hate to just throw them away. I know silly, right? But I harken back to memories of needing one desperately and can’t help but feel they should stay. Just in case.
About Wendy Scherer
Wendy Scherer is a wife, a mom, a friend, a social media researcher and marketing strategist. When faced with adversity, she bakes. She’s an eternal optimist. And she’s pretty darn friendly. You can reach her on Twitter at @wendyscherer and or check out her other online obsessions here.
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This weekend, I had an amazing opportunity to spend an evening and time with old and new friends, to celebrate life, and love and family and career and being women. And that vibrant time was interrupted in the late Sunday afternoon hours with news that a friend’s mom had passed. My heart, so filled with joy just hours prior, was suddenly heavy with sadness for my friend.
We, I, am at that age where our parent are passing, our friends are becoming ill, our lives are likely more than half over. Let me tell you; it’s pretty strange and downright sobering.
I had started to write Monday’s post when news came via email of my friend’s mother’s passing. And I immediately realized that that post could wait.
Life, that life, our life, your life is filled constantly with happy balanced with sad. And when the sadness occurs in the midst of the joy it reinforces the importance of embracing and being grateful for those happy moments, evenings spent with friends laughing, loving, sharing, just being.
On this Monday, I wish you a life filled with joyful moments and the sobering events that allows one to be ever more grateful for them.
This, my dear readers, is life. Embrace the moments but pay attention to them, feel them, breathe them, exist in them. In a second, they change.
See you Wednesday.
xo
p.s. A – sending love, peace and friendship.
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