Flashfree – End the “shhh” and embrace the conversation
I am discovering a pattern: when women learn about Flashfree, they inevitably tell me that they wish that they had a sounding board, someone to talk to about the aging-symptom paradigm, more exchange, more discourse. When I started this blog four years ago, I wanted to become a conduit for that conversation or at the very least, an inspiration. And I know that I’ve been inspired by the interest and the support.
Lately, it’s become so apparent that we need to talk more, listen more, explore more. We need each other.
The following was written during the early days of Flashfree and it’s as relevant now as it was then. So, in a bold move, I am reprising it, in hopes that it will begin that spark that I would like to see carry us through the rest of this year. It’s been a challenging one for many of us. And every day becomes a reminder of what’s most important and what is really not so important. Mostly though? I hope that this space continues to be as much yours’ as mine.
I was talking to a colleague/old friend the other day about this blog. She is a few years older than I and we got into this great conversation about generational gaps when it comes to discussing health issues. Perimenopause and menopause in particular have been huge taboo issues for women for decades.
Take for example, an episode from ‘That 70s Show,’ in which Kitty learns that she is not pregnant but rather, has entered menopause. When she asks her mother (played to a T by none other than Betty White) about her experience, she’s informed that she never went through menopause and has always been “healthy.” It’s funny and sad simultaneously. And definitely well worth the watch. (Fast forward to timecode 3:59.)
As the last of the baby boomers enter middle age, their appetites for health information appear to be ever more insatiable. And yet, some of the savviest and most practical women I know confess that they rarely, if ever, discuss their symptoms, moods or concerns about the changes that they are going through with their friends, let alone their mothers.
I’m fortunate. I have a mother who is pretty open about these sort of topics. And although she’s 70+, she tries hard to maintain an open attitude about certain things. When I approached her a few months ago about what I was going through, she was very forthcoming about her own experiences. And while her experiences were not exactly like mine (let’s face it; no two women’s experiences will ever be exactly the same), being able to talk about it was very liberating, even if I didn’t find “why” behind my own symptomatology.
Janine O’Leary Cobb, a former professor at Vanier College in Montreal, author of Understanding Menopause and founder of ‘A Friend Indeed,” once said that “it seem[s] to be one of the last things women talk about because it’s so entangled with aging and we don’t want to talk about getting older.”
And yet, research suggests that when we do talk about “it” and about getting older, hopefulness and positivity dominates, even as we acknowledge the more negative, i.e. loss and bodily changes, at the same time. And there a majority of women in this study who said that they feel a greater willingness to embrace personal growth and opportunities being presented to them with ease and sense of self as they age, a liberation, if you will.
So, what’s my point? Well, I’m not suggesting that we embrace the sugar-coated version of perimenopause and menopause that many advertisers would lead us to believe. But if we start having conversations with our gal pals and our mothers and colleagues, well, maybe we can begin moving towards removing the stigma that surrounds the “change” and aging once and for all.
Knowledge and exchange are certainly positive, powerful aphrodisiacs for growth.
Wednesday Bubble: Got a Shmirshky?
It starts with “got a shmirshky?” and ends with ‘the pursuit of hormone happiness.’ Hmm, why does this sound like a really bad movie on Lifetime Network?
Truly, when I first laid eyes on Shmirshky.com, I wanted to hate it. Why? Because I don’t like cutesy names for vaginas like “shmirsky.” And I don’t really understand the tagline or book title – ‘think inside the box’ or ‘pursuit of hormone happiness’. Nor do I care for abbreviations like “PM and M” (i.e. perimenopause and menopause) or “SUMO,” the author “E’s” (read: everyone) imaginary friend who makes her feel bad about herself.
Shall I continue? Or stop right there? Because I know that if you’re reading Flashfree, you’ve got the picture.
HOWEVER…I applaud E for taking a light approach to a daunting subject. And while I’ve not read her ‘quintessential Cliff notes to menopause,’ admittedly I did get a chuckle out of her YouTube video. And I really do love her message of reaching out; after all, one of my primary mandates since starting this blog has been to promote dialogue among women and between women and their providers so that they are better equipped to deal with the many aspects of the changes that are occurring within and without. Moreover, we know with certainty that a little humour and laughter go a very long way towards promoting health and wellness.
So, I’m going to give E a free pass. Menopause certainly is not a tropical vacation but shmirsky cutesie acronyms aside, she may be onto something. At the very least, I’ll read the book before drawing my any final conclusions.
What about you? Got a Shmirshky?
Read MoreMusings: Menopause ain’t nothing but a…
Number?
Sometimes it is just that. And sometimes it’s not.
I’m reposting this piece, which first ran in June 2009, because a reader recently challenged me on my consistent opinion that menopause is not a disease.
“Menopause is truly a disease. There are many so called true diseases that cause far less damage to a womens body.”
Actually, the conditions that wreak the most havoc on a woman’s body as she grows older appear to more closely associated with aging than with menopause. Theoretically, this would mean that our best strategy to address prevention or risk reduction, right?
Here are the facts:
Australian researchers suggest that many of the more common complaints of menopause may be possibly related to aging in general and not specifically the transition. In fact, in a study presented during last month’s 8th European Congress on Menopause, they reported that menopause is strongly associated with some but not other common complaints.
So what about the other symptoms? After reviewing data from 58,724 women (ages 45 to 50) participating in the Australian Longitudinal Study on Women’s Health, the strongest associations were seen between menopause and hot flashes/night sweats. These findings remained after adjusting for age during the study, age at menopause, smoking history, body mass index, sociodemographics (i.e. education, income, marital status and geographic location) and other factors that might influence outcomes. Other symptoms, including difficulty sleeping, stiff/painful joints and poor or fair self-reported health were also associated with menopause but to a much lesser extent. Headaches, migraines and incontinence appeared to be more strongly related to the aging process.
The researchers say that treatment (in this case, HRT) should be geared primarily towards alleviating vasomotor symptoms. Less clear, however, is how long therapy should be continued, since some symptoms can last for more than seven years. This study is scheduled to appear in Menopause.
Last September, I wrote a post about a survey being reported at the North American Menopause Society’s Annual meeting suggesting that women can actually discern the symptoms of menopause from those of aging. Interestingly, many of the symptoms overlapped; in fact, 84%, 72%, and 77% of respondents associated vaginal dryness, urinary stress incontinence and weight gain, respectively, strictly with menopause, even though they can also be caused by aging as well.
So, what’s the primary point? It can be difficult to tease apart the effects of aging and the effects of menopause. Clearly, these new Australian data add a bit more to the confusion, and reinforce the point that more research and funding is needed in this particular area.
When I write that “menopause is not a disease and should not be treated like one,” what I am really saying is that disease, especially when it’s chronic can stigmatize, frighten and even create self-loathing. By offering up hormone replacement therapy as the only viable “solution” to preventing and ameliorating the symptoms of menopause and outrightly dismissing gentler alternative strategies, the medical community takes on the stance that Author Louise Foxcroft has written about: “fear of the menopause is something we have learned, and it has grown out of a general, male and medical distaste for the idea of the menopause perceived as an end to viability, fertility, beauty, desirability and worth. Since the French physician de Gardanne coined the new term ‘ménépausie’ in the early nineteenth century, an onslaught of opinion, etiology, treatments, and not least and lest we forget, profit has followed. Women need to unlearn their dread and recognize that menopause is not, of itself, dread-full; that we are merely the victims of our biological process.”
So which comes first? Menopause and disease or aging and disease? Regardless, we can go out fighting or we can give in.
in all, a good thing, right?
Read MoreWednesday Bubble: Don’t Pause!
Hey, stop the presses! There’s a brand new, one-size-fits-all solution to menopause – Don’t – as in, Don’t Pause. Billed as a breakthrough advancement in treating early menopause symptoms (according to the press release), Don’t Pause contains a proprietary mixture of pomegranate extract, green tea, chromium and selenium especially geared towards helping you ‘grow young responsibly.’
Um, okay. So what does that mean? It appears to mean that this wonder formulation will not only halt symptoms of menopause but also improve youthfulness and sexuality, reduce the risk of cancer, osteoarthritis, heart disease and epilepsy and enhance the effects of exercise on weight distribution. Wow! All that in a single pill. Have I mentioned that it’s also Hallal and Kosher?
There is one bit of messaging surrounding this wonder product that I believe is responsible and right on: the time to start addressing menopausal symptoms is before they start. That means you – 30 some year-olds and 40 some year-olds – there is no time like the present to build bone and preserve bone health, get into shape and start managing your weight, eat healthy, address stress and build those support networks. These are the type of steps that can go a long way to addressing menopause symptoms and also to take poetic license, truly help you grow older responsibly.
Don’t pause? What do you think?
Read MoreFuturistic Monday: hot AND cold creature comforts
True confession: I love heated car seats. My last boyfriend won my heart with his heated car seats (okay, not really, but it helped!). For me, heated car seats represent the gold ring of driving comfort, especially when the weather is cold or damp and nasty. Consequently, I was intrigued by a call I received last week from a friend of mine who, like me, is contending with a few menopausal symptoms. The call was car seats for the menopausal set.
“Got a sec?” she asked. “I was just driving down to the road and started thinking about heated car seats. The biggest problem,” she explained,” is that they are only designed with one thing in mind: heat.” (Hence their name, but that’s besides the point.) “Why don’t they make car seats that can heat or cool, depending on the temperature (or temprament) of the passenger? ”
Hmmm, sort of like cleavage coolers but for your derriere. Got me thinking and looking around the interwebz. And what I discovered is that the future is now. In fact, cooled seats are often part of optional packages in a variety of premium and luxury cars with leather upholstery. Experts recommend that you test drive them yourself, since some come with a ventilation system while others actually have separate cooling elements.
If all else fails, there’s always the ‘Amazing SummerSeat Self-Cooling Car Seat Cushion’ (can’t make this stuff up)!
Ladies, when those internal fires get burning, it’s okay to start your engines in comfort.
Be still my heart. I think I’ve just fallen in love again.
Read MoreCrowdsourcing menopause
Crowdsource has become the buzzword of the oughts and the interwebz. Defined as leveraging mass collaboration in order to achieve a common goal, it’s not unusual to find businesses crowdsourcing charity efforts, authors crowdsourcing written works and musicians crowdsourcing performance pieces. However, can healthcare be crowdsourced?
I believe it can, as witnessed by the burgeoning epatient movement (aka participatory medicine). In fact, this week, I’m taking a break from my regular schedule to attend ePatient 2010 in hopes of gaining a better understanding how participatory medicine, collaboration between consumers of healthcare and their practitioners and empowered patients will drive the cultural shift that is taking place within our healthcare system.
More importantly, however, is the fact that I believe that as women, being empowered, i.e. educating ourselves, asking hard questions and participating in decisions in our healthcare, is the only way that we can truly take back our transition to midlife and menopause and remove the decisions about managing it from the hands of industry and practitioners who insist on medicalizing it.
So, where does crowdsourcing fit in?
Last week, I wrote a post about Hot Flash Havoc, the documercial that’s about to be screened in Washington DC and other cities this week. In the process of writing about the film, I realized that the director and producer had unwittingly crowdsourced their piece by asking a lot of pro-HRT experts and patients to join forces to promote so-called discrepancies in the Women’s Health Initiative Study and the foibles of the National Institutes of Health. In the case of this particular project, crowdsourcing actually did a disservice to the multitudes of women who remain confused and lack guidance about HRT and its risks and benefits.
Simultaneously, however, screening Hot Flash Havoc for a group of women provided a glimpse into how menopause could be crowdsourced in more positive and empowering ways. In fact, once we moved on to the broader topic of menopause, the post-film discussion focused on our lives, our personal challenges with menopausal symptoms and most importantly, strategies for dealing with them. Not surprisingly, this conversation continued a week later, when a smaller group got together for drinks and dinner and once again, started discussing the film in general and dealing with menopause specifically.
Women are strange creatures. They often share the most intimate of details with strangers but they can be embarrassed to discuss health concerns with their close friends. Two women can find a bond instantly with little forethought or effort and yet, that bond can be a barrier when things get too personal, or as one friend put it, “embarrassing.”
Why do we continue to be embarrassed to discuss menstruation, hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings and headaches or joint pain? Since when did it become taboo to find ways to utilize our common grounds for a larger cause?
So, this is what I’d like to propose:
Let’s start talking…to each other, to our practitioners and to the world. Let’s figure out what we need, research the hell out of it, seek second and third opinions and insist on making decisions with our practitioners rather than going along with decisions without questioning them, especially when they feel wrong. Let’s take back menopause and midlife and the transition and make it an acceptable and natural part of aging. Let’s stop making and treating it as a disease and put an end to self-loathing and stigmatization.
Let’s crowdsource menopause in a positive, proactive way.
You in?
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