Are you an ‘old bag?’ An open letter to a reader.
Evidently if you are over 40, you are at risk of becoming one, especially if you are not ‘nice to men.’
I was struck and a bit stunned by a reader comment that I received this week. The comment was in response to a post about the Cougar Convention, and made a point to denigrate women as much as possible.
This is what Jimbo wrote:
Yes, most all women are desparate. Look how they dress. Look at the makeup. Look at what they show off. It is obvious. They are desparate for sexual attention. Yet, they want the attention as if they are in control and giving themselves as a gift. This is a none truth. Women need to get real and look at themselves and their own behavior. They are desparate for sex and men.
When women get to be 40+, they start to get honest. Heck, there is not much time left to pretend. They need to find a man and be real nice to him before they turn into old bags.
A number of readers have responded to Jimbo’s comment, obviously taking offense. I chose to leave Jimbo’s comment up up for the very reason that I don’t censor; afterall, Jimbo is entitled to his opinion. However, I would like to leave Jimbo with this:
Jimbo –
40 year-old+ women are sexy, beautiful and self-assured. They have lived long enough to have gained the wisdom to allow them to feel comfortable in their bodies. And have a tendency to embrace who they are, sometimes even more than their younger peers. Nevertheless, in all fairness, you responded to a post entitled “Pimp your hide,” in which I referred to certain women attending a convention that encourages them to use their sexuality to attract a younger man. This however, is the exception and not the rule; the majority of women I know do not have fake boobs or plumped lips and have not done liposuction. While many color their hair (present company included), don’t be surprised if you find them out and about without makeup or wearing jeans and a tee shirt. Or better yet, out with men their age or older. Yes, Jimbo, women don’t always ‘dress to kill.’
So, Jimbo, I’d like you to see what a soon-to-be 49 year-old looks like – at the gym and home, with or without make-up. I can assure you; I am not an old bag nor do I ever intend to be one.
What does your 40+ look like? Comment or send me a photo and I’ll post! Let’s make Jimbo eat his words.
Read MoreRound-up: March news and tidbits
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Seriously, this isn’t an April’s Fool’s post, one day late. In fact, I’ve been so distracted lately that apparently, I forgot to do a round up for the last two months running. Shameful, isn’t it. In any case, even though it’s brilliantly April and March will soon be a distant memory, I thought I’d provide a recap. Don’t want to miss a thing and neither should you. Enjoy!
- Trans fats are not your friend – Trans Fats – yeah, best to skip them. It appears that they may increase your risk for ischemic stroke by as much as 40%.
- Osteoporosis – all bets are off – Is it age or hormones? Hormones or age? The chicken or the egg? What truly drives a woman’s risk for osteoporosis?
- What’s your flava? – Boy, I got slammed for this post but I’ll leave it to you to decide whether it was fair or not. Labiaplasty is the next best thing to enhance a couple’s chance of staying together. At least according to several hundred male plastic surgeons. Mind you, the procedure is necessary and an excellent choice for certain women – be sure to read the post comments.
- In celebration of women. My conversation with chef/author Mollie Katzen – There’s no country for old woman..I talk to Mollie Katzen how to recapture our (self)-image as we age.
- One drink makes you smaller – Can alcohol help you lose weight? The reports were all over the news. But wait til you see the miniscule amounts.
- Every breath you take. Lung cancer & HRT – Seems that researchers are saying that HRT not only increases deaths from lung cancer but also, the risk of developing lung cancer.
- Just breathe – that’s right, controlled, mindful breathing exercises may be just what the doctor ordered for halting those bothersome hot flashes.
- Bedfan – the real deal – I made fun of it last year but evidently, this nifty product is a hot seller for cool outcomes.
- WISHFIT – women’s research takes a village – Want research that works? Involve the community! Rush University Medical Center is letting women in the neighborhood help design their next study. Health 2.0 meets social meets research.
- Got fat? Soyrry but soy won’t work – Love love love soy products. But they aren’t going to help your overall body composition.
- No pain, no. Killing two birds with one stone – Can analgesics prevent breast cancer? Only time will tell.
- Just an hour a day keeps the weight away – Looks like if you want to stave off weight, you need to step up the program. Here’s why…
- This is your brain on midlife – I’ve lost my brain. Have you seen it?
Wednesday Bubble: this is your brain on midlife
Got brain? If you still have yours’, maybe you’ve seen mine also.
I’ve noticed that as the days and weeks pass, my recall seems to be declining. I remain uncertain as to the cause – is it overload, life or declining hormones? Has middle age truly taken my brain? If so, I’ve got a small but important request for the universal goddesses: I’d like it back.
Just last week I received an important notice from the New York State Division of Taxation with approval to dissolve my Corporation. Any of you who know me or know of my former company know that this has been a drawn-out and arduous process. But I got the letter! And permission for closure. The thing is…I lost it.
Perhaps it’s in the black hole of all things Liz, amongst single earrings, lone socks and that piece of family jewelry that I’ve been looking for for over a year now. Maybe I threw it out; I have a genetic disease that I refer to as ‘anti-hoarder syndrome or AHS,’ as in, “I must discard any bit of clutter that enters my humble abode.” (My father has this illness so it resonates deeply with me, irritatingly so I might add.) Or maybe, it’s sitting in that pile that I’ve gone through about 15 times and will bare its ugly head once I receive its replacement.
If you’re wondering what this has to do with bubbles or bursting illusions, well I’d like to take a stab at one that’s been bothering me for some time now; memory in midlife (aka, your brain on midlife). Researchers who specialize in women’s health and menopause have been consistent in their attempts to decipher the ever-present mind meltdown, attributing it to declining testosterone, a loss of the brain’s gray matter or as I suspect, stress. Yet, regardless of its cause, I am becoming increasingly aware of its presence and the fact that its become a part of who I am.
Whether I am entering a room with a mission or surfing the web, I seem to constantly arrive without my original purpose and then stand (or sit) there desperately seeking the key as to why I went there in the first place. Typically, that key reappears during inopportune times when the goal has lost its relevance, or when I am nowhere near a computer or a room to complete the task.
This is my brain on midlife. Forgetful, spacey, devoid of information. A blank bubble lingering above my head.
Truly, if you run across it, can you send it home?
Read MoreJust an hour a day keeps the weight away
Yikes! Seems like every time you turn around, there’s another study upping the ante on exercise. Last year, I wrote about 2005 USDA guidelines suggesting that adults need about 60 to 90 minutes of moderate physical activity a day for health and weight maintenance, i.e. at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous exercise daily to stave off gradual, unhealthy body weight combined 30 minutes daily can help prevent chronic diseases. To achieve optimal physical fitness, the recommendations suggested the incorporation of cardiovascular conditioning, weight training, and resistance exercise to improve strength and endurance. Conversely, 2008 Federal Guidelines suggested that adults needed about 150 minutes per week of moderate intensity exercise to maintain health, while the Institute of Medicine suggested 60 minutes a day to prevent weight gain. Confused yet?
Researchers followed a group of over 34,000 women (mean age ~54) for 13 years, examining their amount and type of weekly physical activity (e.g. high versus low intensity), body weight, height, menopausal status, use of hormones or not, chronic disease, alcohol use, smoking and diet. (If you’re wondering, high intensity refers to running. bicycling, aerobic exercise or dance or use of aerobic machines, while low intensity refers to yoga, stretching, tennis, squash or racquetball, and lap swimming.)
Overall, study findings showed that on n average and regardless of physical activity level, women gained almost 6 pounds over the course of the study. However, women who exercised anywhere from 2.5 hours to less than 7 hours a week gained significantly more weight then women who exercised at least 7 hours a week (or one hour a day). In fact, women who exercised less than an hour a day were significantly more likely to gain at least 5 pounds over the first three years of the study. Note that these results apply only to normal weight women (body mass index <25).
I’ve recently increased my level of physical activity to an hour a day, not because of these study results but because I’ve been unhappy about the hormonally-driven tire that’s starting to appear around my midsection. I must tell you; it’s a huge time commitment. Undoubtedly, if you are busy in your career or with your children, finding an hour a day to exercise can be difficult. What remains unclear is whether or not this hour can be divided into increments.
What do you think? Do you have the time? Are you motivated? Or does this information discourage you?
Read MoreWhat’s your flava?
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Are your labia feeling their age? Do they need a bit more pink? There’s an application for that. Literally.
‘My New Pink Button’ , a genital cosmetic colorant, will help restore your labia to their naturally ‘youthful’ pink color! Feeling a bit more daring? There’s a color for that too! Purple, bright red, amber, you name it. Any shade that you’ve ever dreamt of. Any hue that your partner desires. After all, if you’re going to dye your hair, why not dye down there?
While you’re at it, you can also reshape your labia to insure that they are more desirable in appearance. Vaginal rejuvenation, writes journalist Angel Bonvoglia for the Women’s Media Center Blog, is a procedure where cosmetic surgeons (mostly men), “carve, burn, cauterize, and stitch the female labia, clitoral environs, vaginal canal, and other points south… in order to create supposedly longed for “designer” vaginas and thereby “enhance sexual gratification.”” Ironically, Bonovoglia discovers that labiaplasty, the most popular procedure (which entails either leaving just the edge of the inner labia or cutting it off entirely) actually impairs sexual desire. Still, even a top surgeon is quoted as claiming that a tight vagina will keep any man around.
Granted, we live in a visual culture, where middle age is synonymous with invisibility and where older women reach a point where they virtually cease to exist. Women poke, pull, botox, dye, suck, lift and pout in an attempt to hold on to their visibility. Now they have the option to make sure that all is well down below as well, which when taken to extremes, also insures that they rob themselves of the very thing that they are trying to regain: their sexuality.
Why do we need to be worried about or spare our partners from discovering discolored or loose labia? (Really, if he or she is down there, are their eyes open?) Better yet, have our attempts to regain our sexuality insured that we have lost our sanity at the same time?
What do you think? What flava would you like your labia?
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