Posts Tagged "midlife"

Cougar 101: pimp your hide

Posted by Liz on Sep 4, 2009 in Uncategorized | 9 comments

[Photo Credit: Daniel C. Britt, with permission]

Need a class on how to be a better ‘Cougar?’ Want to learn how to teach young men about desire and how to please a woman? It’s as simple as…the Single Cougars Convention!

The Bay Area hosted the First Annual Single Cougars Convention last month, an extravaganza of botoxed, boob-jobbed, eyebrow-shaped 40+ somethings (and their younger ‘Puma’ peers) who attended presentations, mingled at a bass-booming cougar ball and celebrated the crowning of the first Miss Cougar America.

Yikes! Horny or not, if I were a young male thang, I’d go running for cover… fast.

This Convention and all that it represents absolutely makes me ill. There is no logical reason why the Cougar narrative needs to be rubberstamped; in fact, endorsing the image of an older woman so desperate to attract attention that she virtually “pimps her hide” only serves to perpetuate the Cougar myth.

These ladies may be in it for a good time and believe that they have every right to behave in this fashion. They do; it’s a free country. But think about it; as women, we are consistently complaining about how we are portrayed in the media and within society, especially as we age. If this is the case, why are we spending thousands of dollars to literally sculpt ourselves into charactertures of our better selves?

Want to attract a partner? Be real, be interesting and be interested. Have self-respect and feel good about yourself. Take care of yourself and your soul.

At any and every age, that’s more attractive than inches of foundation, a lip plumper and a few nips and tucks.

And, if you’ve got to flaunt ‘it,” well, then you probably don’t have ‘it.” You may get laid but that young stud is out for one thing and it ain’t respecting you.

Truly… before you start pimping your hides, take a long look in the mirror and an even deeper look into your souls. There’s nothing wrong with dating a younger man (or woman); just keep the predator at bay where she belongs.

[Want to see more Convention Cougars? Check out photog Daniel C. Britt’s photo and video streams on Flickr.]

The roundup: August news and tidbits

Posted by Liz on Aug 31, 2009 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

[Credit: Special thanks to artist Darryl Willison of whimsicalwest.com. Please visit his site and support his work!]

One of my dad’s favorite sayings (in response to the question, “what’s going on,”) is “there’s a lot going on.” And in August, there was!

For your perusal, the highlights:

• Solitude – It takes courage to allow oneself to be deeply loved….a brief (and highly personal) exploration of the difference between solitude and isolation.
• Reaching the gentler sex: why marketing to women requires a holistic approach. Guest post by Andrea Learned – A glimpse into why we need to act holistically in our lives and our careers; as women, it’s an essential part of our fabric.
• Better living through chemistry – your aging skin – Dermatologists at the American Academy of Dermatology weigh in on why HRT is not your best bet for improving your appearance.
• Buyer beware: on snake oil, menopause and Michael Jackson – What a trifecta! A treatise on snake oil treatments for menopause and why you might want to avoid the big tent at all costs.
• Midlife metamorphosis – Midlife is not a four-letter word, even when it comes to men….a glimpse into the male psyche, and the challenges our partners face as they age.
• Cheers! (Please don’t let me burst this one!) – One of my favorite Wednesday Bubbles – can red wine increase sexual desire?
• Giving voice – Damn those hormones! Data suggest that our voices may be subject to change, along with the rest of us.
• Transition without tears – Once again, advertisers show why Big Pharma doesn’t get it!
• Maca What? – Peruvian Maca looks promising for menopausal symptoms, or does it?
• Beer boosts bones – An alliterative glance at beer and how it might provide support of bones, in moderation of course.
• What’s your chill factor? – No more fighting over that remote, at least when it comes to hot flashes. Wirelessly chill your sleep.
• Cool like dat – Drink your menopause away…once daily! Seriously?
• Battle of the bulge – Researchers reveal the culprit behind the extra 5 lbs you’re carrying.

Read More

Wednesday bubble: Cheers! (Please, don’t let me burst this one!)

Posted by Liz on Aug 12, 2009 in sexual desire, sexual health | 0 comments

Can red wine help increase a woman’s sexual desire? Interesting data from an Italian study among 798 women between the ages of 18 and 50 suggest that indeed, it just might.

Researchers divided women without any sexual complaints into three groups:

• More than two glasses of red wine and other types of alcohol (including white wine) daily, and occasional drinkers
• One to two glasses of red wine daily (“moderate intake”)
• Teetotallars

All study participants were asked to complete a questionnaire measuring female sexual functioning, as well as report on their daily alcohol consumption. The questionnaire – the Female Sexual Function Index – contains 19 questions designed to assess desire, arousal, confidence, lubrication, orgasm, and the degree of pain during and after vaginal penetration.

The findings? Overall, women reporting daily moderate red wine drinking (one to two glasses) scored significantly higher in all domains of sexual functioning, including desire and lubrication, than women in the other two groups. More striking, however, was that the women who regularly drank red wine were reportedly older than women in the other two groups.

These study findings, which undoubtedly require more research and a larger study group, do suggest a link between moderate red wine intake and sexual desire, even among older women whose sexual functioning and desire, theoretically declines with age. Of course, there are many other factors that come into play for older women; we know that declining hormones affect the vaginal lining, causing pain and interfering with lubrication. We know that hormones can also affect weight and self-image, which affects desire. And of course, how we interact with our partners is also important.

But study after study all point to medicating ourselves back towards sexual desire. Could it be as simple as a few glasses of antioxidant rich red wine, which may help improve blood flow to key areas of the body, such as the vaginal region?

I’d love to think so.

The jury’s still out. But me? I’m planning on drinking a few glasses of red wine tonight…! I’m inspired; are you?

[Many thanks to my friend Daphne Swancutt for directing me to these data!]

Wednesday Bubble: Better living through chemistry? Your aging skin

Posted by Liz on Aug 5, 2009 in appearance, HRT | 2 comments

Still thinking that hormone replacement therapy (HRT) can improve the appearance of aging skin? You may want to think again.

This past March, dermatologists at the American Academy of Dermatologists’ annual meeting once again debunked claims that HRT can improve the appearance of aging, photo-damaged skin. Although I’ve written on this topic previously, the subject is interesting (and relevant) enough to revisit.

Undoubtedly, certain areas of the body are more receptive to estrogen than others, e.g., cells comprising the skin on the face. And while estrogen can increase collagen, help the skin retain water and promote elasticity, its ability to reverse the effects of aging remain questionable.

Dr. Margaret Parsons, assistance clinical professor of dermatology at the University of California-Davis, says that she does not prescribe estrogen to improve skin’s appearance because data have not consistently shown any benefit. Not only doesn’t she believe that topical or oral estrogens offer any sort of long-term solution, but she also points to the risks involved in their use, such as breast cancer.

Consider the evidence (or lack, thereof):

• In a study published last year in the Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology, researchers evaluated whether or not low-dose HRT could improve the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, skin dryness/texture and sagging. Study participants were 485 women who had been menopausal for about five years.  No significant improvements were seen after 48 weeks of treatment, although researchers suggested that longer use of hormones or different doses might lead to better results.
• In another study, which I wrote about last year, applying topical estrogen to sun-damaged skin, likewise, did not improve the skin’s appearance, although it did appear to promote collagen production in areas that had not seen the light of day, i.e. the hip.
• A third study, published in the early 90s, suggests that use of a topical cream early in menopause and for a longer period of time, may improve the appearance of aging skin. However, this study was only conducted in 18 women over a period of six months, making it difficult to reach any definitive conclusions.

It appears that the jury is still out but deliberations don’t look too promising.

Think about it: are you willing to risk the adverse effects of HRT – cancer, death from lung disease, heart disease – for your appearance?

If you are deadset on erasing a few lines and a few years, there are effective therapies that dermatologist regularly suggest to improve skin’s appearance, for example retinoids, glycolic acid or procedures such as chemical peels, lasers, botox and skin fillers. While they might hit your pocketbook harder than HRT, most do not come with the same degree of health risks. You can learn more about taking care of mature skin in this issue of the American Academy of Dermatology’s SKIN e-newsletter.

Obviously, the best advice is to wear sunscreen regularly, avoid smoking and use a topical retinoid. We may not be able to turn back the clock but we can preserve what we have more responsibly. Estrogen might not be the ounce of prevention that works best.

Reaching the Gentler Sex: Why Marketing to Women Requires a Holistic Approach. A guest post by Andrea Learned

Posted by Liz on Aug 3, 2009 in emotions, work | 4 comments

I’ve written a few posts on the value of connections and the unique relationships that women have with one another, and with the world at-large. Not only do these connections provide a sense of security and enrich our emotional, psychological and physical fabrics, but they can teach us a lot about how we relate to others and how others relate to us as women.

Midlife is a time when many changes occur, particularly on the career front. You may find yourself reevaluating what you are doing, or better yet, how. I think that Andrea Learned has an interesting perspective on how women relate to the products they buy, because it says a lot about how we relate to ourselves and each other: holistically.

So, when I saw this post on Andrea’s Site, Learned on Women, I asked if she might do me the honours of reframing it for Flashfree. It’s a terrific, informative piece, whether you are interested in marketing or not.

Enjoy!!! And show Andrea some love!

Part of what makes women seem so complicated, from the marketing perspective, is the fact that their purchase decision-making paths can be a bit winding. For most women, there is more to a decision than bullet points listing product features on the side of a package.  They take it all in — from the causes a brand supports, to the friendliness of a retailer’s employees, to knowing that a brand actually does interact with women like them (and so has much better ideas how to serve them).

Women certainly consider the usual suspects of linear product facts: like price and quality.  However, their buying curves give them even more to ponder. They may have checked off everything on their list, be close to a decision, and then hear that your company sponsored the run they participated in last weekend. Boom! She’s sold. Or a woman may be 99 percent decided or buying from a retailer, have a short conversation with a sales team member who was a little too hard-sell — and, boom, the deal is off.

The key to understanding how to reach women buyers is understanding how they think.  And, it is in a very holistic – take it all in – manner.

Not surprisingly, a woman’s more typically holistic buying characteristics are founded in the extra-connectedness of her brain. In fact, in comparison to a man’s brain, a woman’s brain typically has more connecting fibers between cells and a larger connecting tissue (corpus collusum) between right and left hemispheres. (Louann Brizendine’s book, The Female Brain, is a great resource for more brain science information.)

Noted socio-anthropologist Helen Fisher wrote in her book The First Sex: “As women make decisions, they weigh more variables, consider more options and outcomes, recall more points of view, and see more ways to proceed.” Fisher refers to women’s tendency to think in terms of interrelated factors (as opposed to men’s tendency to think more in a straight line or in steps) as “web thinking.”

As a result of web thinking, she says, women have easier access to both sides of the brain in any given decision, and are better able to integrate the emotional (is this company doing well by their employees and the environment?) with the rational (price, features, quality of product).

In Dan Pink’s book, A Whole New Mind, the author points out that “the left hemisphere handles what is said; the right hemisphere focuses on how it’s said.” Women can tap right hemisphere concerns (nonverbal, usually more emotional) much more easily, on average, then men.

In fact, as Face Time author Dan Hill found, emotions may play a larger role in the way women think about everything. This is worth noting, as he also mentions that emotion seems to drive reason more than reason drives emotion.

***

Given this perhaps more right-brained, emotionally-driven thinking, the curved path of a woman’s buying decision-making process makes a lot of sense.  In today’s tough economic and environmental situation – this more holistic perspective comes in very handy.   How and what anyone buys needs to be more deliberate.  And, what I see happening now in terms of consumer behavior is that men are starting to learn these “women’s” ways and use the finer points of such decision-making themselves.

What’s that phrase?  It’s all good.

***

The above was excerpted/edited a bit from Andrea’s original piece for a building industry publication.  You can see that full article here: http://learnedonwomen.com/2007/07/article-reaching-the-gentler-sex/

If you are a twitter fan, you can stay easily updated on Andrea’s thoughts/ideas/blog posts by following: @AndreaLearned.