Cougar 101: pimp your hide

Posted by on Sep 4, 2009 in Uncategorized | 9 comments

British Cougars-thumb-500x334

[Photo Credit: Daniel C. Britt, with permission]

Need a class on how to be a better ‘Cougar?’ Want to learn how to teach young men about desire and how to please a woman? It’s as simple as…the Single Cougars Convention!

The Bay Area hosted the First Annual Single Cougars Convention last month, an extravaganza of botoxed, boob-jobbed, eyebrow-shaped 40+ somethings (and their younger ‘Puma’ peers) who attended presentations, mingled at a bass-booming cougar ball and celebrated the crowning of the first Miss Cougar America.

Yikes! Horny or not, if I were a young male thang, I’d go running for cover… fast.

This Convention and all that it represents absolutely makes me ill. There is no logical reason why the Cougar narrative needs to be rubberstamped; in fact, endorsing the image of an older woman so desperate to attract attention that she virtually “pimps her hide” only serves to perpetuate the Cougar myth.

These ladies may be in it for a good time and believe that they have every right to behave in this fashion. They do; it’s a free country. But think about it; as women, we are consistently complaining about how we are portrayed in the media and within society, especially as we age. If this is the case, why are we spending thousands of dollars to literally sculpt ourselves into charactertures of our better selves?

Want to attract a partner? Be real, be interesting and be interested. Have self-respect and feel good about yourself. Take care of yourself and your soul.

At any and every age, that’s more attractive than inches of foundation, a lip plumper and a few nips and tucks.

And, if you’ve got to flaunt ‘it,” well, then you probably don’t have ‘it.” You may get laid but that young stud is out for one thing and it ain’t respecting you.

Truly… before you start pimping your hides, take a long look in the mirror and an even deeper look into your souls. There’s nothing wrong with dating a younger man (or woman); just keep the predator at bay where she belongs.

[Want to see more Convention Cougars? Check out photog Daniel C. Britt’s photo and video streams on Flickr.]


  1. 9-4-2009

    Excellent post! I couldn’t agree more. The spirit in which this “convention” was done reeks of desperation (and humiliation). Everyone involved (each and every person in those photos on the site) looks ridiculous.

    While I love the fact that we are evolving as a society to be more accepting of relationships that we have traditionally denounced (i.e., an older woman with a much younger man) and I respect the right of any individual to be who and what they want to be, this all begs the question: IS THIS WHO YOU WANT TO BE AT THIS AGE??

    Here’s another question: Is this who you want your daughters to be when they turn 40?

    This is all so exhausting. You are right Liz, this only perpetuates the stereotypes.

    • 9-4-2009

      Thanks Charlie. This post has garnered a bit of mixed reactions since Vogue evidently came out with some stats today saying the 40% of women negatively judged their peers who dated younger men. The point of it, however, as you so aptly honed in on, was the perpetuation of stereotypes. I take no issue with women dating younger men, but I do object to objectifying ourselves in order to snag the prey.

      Thank you for a thoughtful comment.

  2. 4-27-2010

    Yes, most all women are desparate. Look how they dress. Look at the makeup. Look at what they show off. It is obvious. They are desparate for sexual attention. Yet, they want the attention as if they are in control and giving themselves as a gift. This is a none truth. Women need to get real and look at themselves and their own behavior. They are desparate for sex and men.

    When women get to be 40+, they start to get honest. Heck, there is not much time left to pretend. They need to find a man and be real nice to him before they turn into old bags.

    • 4-28-2010

      LOL…. Jimbo, I don’t know what planet you go to, to find these women, but it ain’t the one where I live. There’s not a woman in my family, nor my wife’s, that in any way resembles what you describe.

      I can’t argue with what you’ve seen, but you’re waaay off base to assert that that’s “most all.” “Look at the makeup”? Most of the women I know don’t wear any, most of the time. (Now that I think of it, the women I know wear makeup about as often as I wear a tie.)

      p.s. It’s spelled “desperate” not “desparate,” and the expression is “a known truth,” not a “none” truth. But mebbe such find points are a wee bit below your level of training. Which could explain the above.

      Or maybe you did mean “none truth”!

    • 4-28-2010

      Frustrated, Jimbo?

    • 4-28-2010

      I’m inclined to agree wholeheartedly with Dave on this one… Just who are these women you describe, Jimbo? They certainly don’t resemble anyone I know either.

      LOL slapping broad stereotypes on ‘most all’ women is hardly going to endear you to the fairer sex, nor is calling them ‘old bags’.

      • 4-28-2010

        Sounds like the views of a man who married the sex kitten just as she turned into a cat.

        The good news is, Jimbo will be a local hero in his trailer park this evening where drunk, ill educated has beens will be dragged back home by their ‘old bags’

        See, we can all stereotype.

    • 4-28-2010

      LOL, Jimbo, which cave did you crawl out of? It is reassuring to know that they aren’t that many men that think like you

  3. 4-28-2010

    Speaking as an author and editor (female) I find it amusing that your spelling is just as inaccurate as your views on women.


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