Bet ya thought this was a post about the Komen/Planned Parenthood debacle. Actually, it’s about pink. Labia pink (did you know that someone has actually invented that colour? I did you not!) But I digress, because it’s Wednesday and time to re-burst this particular bubble. So, I ask you: are your labia feeling their age? Do they need a bit more pink? There’s an app for that. Literally.
‘My New Pink Button’ , a genital cosmetic colorant, will help restore your labia to their naturally ‘youthful’ pink color! Feeling a bit more daring? There’s a color for that too! Purple, bright red, amber, you name it. Any shade that you’ve ever dreamt of. Any hue that your partner desires. After all, if you’re going to dye your hair, why not dye down there?
While you’re at it, you can also reshape your labia to insure that they are more desirable in appearance. Vaginal rejuvenation, writes journalist Angel Bonvoglia for the Women’s Media Center Blog, is a procedure where cosmetic surgeons (mostly men), “carve, burn, cauterize, and stitch the female labia, clitoral environs, vaginal canal, and other points south… in order to create supposedly longed for “designer” vaginas and thereby “enhance sexual gratification.”” Ironically, Bonovoglia discovers that labiaplasty, the most popular procedure (which entails either leaving just the edge of the inner labia or cutting it off entirely) actually impairs sexual desire. Still, even a top surgeon is quoted as claiming that a tight vagina will keep any man around.
Granted, we live in a visual culture, where middle age is synonymous with invisibility and where older women reach a point where they virtually cease to exist. Women poke, pull, botox, dye, suck, lift and pout in an attempt to hold on to their visibility. Now they have the option to make sure that all is well down below as well, which when taken to extremes, also insures that they rob themselves of the very thing that they are trying to regain: their sexuality.
Why do we need to be worried about or spare our partners from discovering discolored or loose labia? (Really, if he or she is down there, are their eyes open?) Better yet, have our attempts to regain our sexuality insured that we have lost our sanity at the same time?
What do you think? What flava would you like your labia?
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- Wednesday Bubble: Designer What?! | FlashFree : Not Your Mama's Menopause - [...] may recall that I ran a piece in early February about vaginal rejuvenation and the promise the procedure offers to…
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I must say, of all the assorted procedures and preoccupations that post-50 women are now supposed to fret over, this one seems most vile to me.
Rosy glow for lovely O?
No.
I think it’s time we all get a grip – and not that kind of grip. But a grip on reality, on what is natural, on the delightful and desirable aspects of sexuality that most of us might wish to keep in our lives, on the value of the “whole package” (men and women, both), and the essentials in life.
Something other than the latest item on the Let’s Make Women Feel Badly About Themselves Surgical Procedures List.
At any age, this is pretty darn vile, don’t you think? I have never quite understood the need to redo what nature has created just pretty damn fine down there. And this? Colour your labia? Color you stupid. Thanks for the comment!
Love this post so much, from your powerful verbs to your lesbo-inclusiveness.
Thank you! And thanks for taking the time to comment!