Are you rubberstamping the cougar narrative?

Posted by on Jul 29, 2011 in aging | 4 comments

[Image: WildEarth Paw Prints]

Time to reprise an oldie but goodie. And a post that remains relevant for millions of women. The cougar narrative. You know, cougar, a woman who preys on ‘unsuspecting’ younger men.

So, are you embracing your inner cougar? Pimping your hide to expand your pride? Or like me, are you running as far away from the notion as you can?!

I’ve been somewhat amused and a wee bit miffed at the double standards placed upon women who “prey” on younger men. While their sugar daddy counterparts get away with endless forays into the dating world without nary a word, these women are dubbed “cougars” and frowned upon. However, have you ever considered that these younger men don’t feel preyed upon at all but prefer the company of a well-rounded, intelligent, sexy woman who can titillate their minds, souls AND bodies?

Perhaps the cougar ‘narrative’ and its fallacies should be put to rest.

If you have even a wee bit of doubt about what I’m saying, I’d like to introduce you to 73-year-old Rio de Janero resident Lina Merceis. Lina is the star of a documentary short entitled “Bye Bye, Cest Fini,” and the ultimate inspiration for any woman who believes that life ends at midlife and beyond. Lina, having suffered early disappointments in marriage and love, is now dedicating herself to herself. Lina deliberately chooses the single life, claiming that men are too much work. ‘Seductress to a slew of 30 somethings,  she enjoys her lovers, acknowledges her occasional loneliness, and confesses to a good friend (as they sit on the beach eying the candy) that sex and fun are her life prescriptions not options. Not surprisingly, the young men who are fortunate to become one of Lina’s lovers are happy to oblige.

My friend Twitter friend Erika over at Redheaded Fury wrote an interesting missive a few years ago in response to a Denver Post article about ‘Cougars on the Prowl.’ Her point? That society’s caricature of the lonely older woman preying on younger men might not be entirely accurate. I think that Lina is a testament to that. More importantly, watching Lina onscreen taught me that  life gets started when you decide, not when something (or someone) else does.

Take the reins ladies; there’s no time like the present to write your own narrative (and be proud of it).


  1. 7-29-2011

    I “decided” years ago, this if my life, my time on the merry-go-round and I’m not wasting it. I’m 42 and doing anything and everything I’m big and bad enough to do with whomever I want to do it with.

    • 7-29-2011

      Good for you Shannon. To thy own self, be true.

  2. 7-31-2011

    I didn’t even believe I was all the way alive until I turned 35. I don’t believe in age. I believe in maturity. So I date men of whatever age we find each other. There are very sexy 50 year old men I’ve dated when I was 37, and when I was 28, I dated a guy much younger than me for three years. Whenever I hear these silly stereotypes, I ask my European friends for perspective. If they laugh, which they do most of the time, I figure I’m just fine.

    • 8-1-2011

      Call me a cynic but if you are looking for maturity, age will never matter because few men truly fit that bill….

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