Men! Male menopause? I think not! The closest thing to it? I believe so.
New York Times writer Dana Jennings, wrote a poignant piece in yesterday’s paper about his personal experience with hot flashes — not only as a husband/partner to a menopausal woman — but also as an advanced prostate cancer patient taking Lupron for his condition. Entitled “My Brief Life as a Woman,” (a title, which by the way, I want to rebel against) Jennings explores the effect that hormone therapy had on his body (night sweats, weight gain), his emotions (fits of crying), energy (fatigue) and overall quality of life (frequent headaches).
What resonates? His admission that “even though I only got to spend a brief time on the outer precincts of menopause, it did confirm my lifelong sense that the world of women is hormonal and mysterious, and that we men don’t have the semblance of a clue.”
I applaud Jennings for his candor, his sensitivity and his humour.
Men – the next time your wife/partner/girlfriend/friend is on the “Good Ship Menopause,” as Jennings so aptly describes it, embrace and offer to carry her “physical baggage.” Although it’s not a trip you’re necessarily prepared for, the journey may help you understand what she is going through a bit more thoroughly. Another helpful resource: Dick Roth’s “No, It’s Not Hot in Here,” a husband’s guide to understanding menopause.
A little understanding, a little support, and someone to sit with during bad chick flicks. Is that too much to ask?!
(Thanks to Steve Woodruff for pointing me to this piece in the NYT)
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I have been reading Dana Jennings posts since he began writing about his life with cancer. His style is poignant, approachable and honest. Kinda unusual for someone from ‘the club’. *tongue in cheek*
Women are mysterious and menopause is an ingredient in the receipe of ‘mysterious’.
If you care about a woman experiencing menopause (mother, sister, friend, lover) then take the time to ‘just be there’ even tho the mystery remains as such.
understand? – try
support? – absolutely
sit during chick flicks? Oh, OK. (But can I check my blackberry every now and then?)
Liz – thanks for this post. As always….
Steve
Thanks for the thoughtful comment Steve. Dana is one of the first guys who seems to have had first hand experience with the rollercoaster. I appreciated his piece and wanted to share it. And yes to the BB. Chick flicks can be painful, even for chicks!
great post. would love to meet the men evolved enough to be sympathetic to menopause. i would imagine they are a small group.
steve, i have to admit that I check my blackberry during chick flicks, too?
I imagine that they are also. But nothing like another guy to lend a personal perspective. The BB? So do I, Amy, So do I!