I got all my sisters with me…redux
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Two years ago, I posted a piece about the importance of friendships and social support to our lives. Researchers agree that during the menopausal transition, the ability to nurture and nourish ties, coupled with overall satisfaction with that work, significantly predicts well-being.
A subset of 334 women from the Seattle Midlife Women’s Health Study were evaluated over a period of 8 years to determine the association between factors such as frequency and severity of hot flashes, hormone levels, number of negative life events and resources pertaining to mastery over and satisfaction with social support and overall well-being.
Study findings showed that for the majority, the menopause transition itself was not a predictor of well-being. Rather, when considered within a broader life context, one primary factor stood out – personal resources as they pertain to social support.
Undoubtedly, menopause can wreak havoc on our lifestyles, the way that we feel about ourselves and at times, the ability or inability to cope. ‘Tending and befriending,’ nurturing our personal relationships, communicating to one another when we need help, finding a shoulder to cry on or simply offering a hug not only reaffirms who we are but can also provide an essential foundation to see us through.
One of my favorite Aristotle quotes is this one:
What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies.
Last week I made an effort to cherish my soul. I met one of my best friends in Barcelona and we explored the city together, drank, ate, indulged in shopping, art and architecture, talked, cried, laughed and just were. It was nourishing, empowering, refreshing and mood boosting.
So, ask yourselves: when was the last time you cherished your soul?
Why not call or email a friend? Reach out to a family member you’ve not spoken to in awhile. Say hello to that neighbor you’ve been meaning to talk to but never find the time to. Mostly, take the time to well, take the time. You’ll be glad you did.
I sure am…
Want to live longer? Get off your ass and move that body!
I was fascinated by an article that appeared in this past weekend’s New York Times about inactivity. In it, a Mayo Clinic researcher Dr. James Levine, who’s been studying the impact of activity and weight, is quoted as saying that “excessive sitting is a lethal activity.” Even bending over to tie your shoes is better than sitting on your butt all day.
Last Fall, I wrote about inactivity and obesity and after seeing this piece, I wanted to reprise it. Whether it’s your waistline or your life, clearly, nothing is more important than getting up and moving. If you didn’t read it the first time around, I urge you to do so now. Seriously, get off your ass!
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Get up and move? You bet!
According to a newly published study in the advanced online edition of European Heart Journal, taking breaks from long stints at your desk or even while you’re playing couch potato can go a long way towards preventing heart disease and losing some of that waistline bulge. In fact, the researchers say that prolonged periods of being sedentary, even if you regularly participate in moderate to vigorous physical activity, can increase the risk of heart disease. The bottom line? It’s not only the length of time you’re spending at your desk or on your derriere but how often you interrupt that time that counts.
This is the first time that a large, multiethnic population of varying ages has been evaluated to determine how a lack of activity affects certain markers of heart disease, including inflammation, waist circumference, cholesterol and blood fats. Researchers studied 4,757 participants over a period of three years who wore a small device (an accelerometer) that measures both the amount and intensity of activity; this allowed them to collect data on inactivity and breaks in inactivity.
The findings? Irrespective of factors like exercise time, diet and smoking, people who took the most breaks from inactivity (~179 breaks a day) had, on average, a 1.6 inch smaller waist circumference than people who took the least amount of breaks (~14 breaks per day) and remained inactive for the longest period of time. Moreover, taking breaks from being sedentary appeared to improve blood fats and blood glucose levels as well as C-reactive protein level (CRP, a blood protein that many experts believe, increases heart disease risk because of its role in promoting inflammation). Another interesting finding was gender-based; even though women tended to be more sedentary overall, they did take more breaks, thereby improving their heart disease risk. This is especially notable since research has shown that not only is heart disease the number one killer of women, but it tends to increase as estrogen levels wane.
Dr. Healy, the study’s lead researcher, suggests that even small changes, standing for as little as one minute at various intervals throughout the day, may help lower heart disease risk and counter the danger of being sedentary for too long. In a work environment, this means, standing up when talking on the phone, walking over to a colleague, using the restroom, and of course, taking the stairs. If you work at home, some of these recommendations are adaptable, such as making a point to take out the garbage, walk outside for a minute or put in a load of laundry.
Read MoreGal pals – your second self
Ever wonder why spending time with your girlfriends boosts your mood? Researchers from the University of Michigan report that emotional closeness increases progesterone levels and leads to greater bonding between people. Is it possible that social bonding and sharing may help to counteract waning progesterone levels during the the menopause transition as well?
To measure the influence of social bonding on progesterone levels, 160 female college students were randomly assigned to partners and asked to perform tasks:
- Ask one another specific questions geared towards allowing them to get to know one another better and promote emotional closeness (e.g. “Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?”)
- Proofread an “emotionally neutral” article together
Before and after each session, the researchers took saliva samples to measure progesterone and stress hormone (cortisol) levels. All sessions were held at the same time (between noon and 7 pm) to insure that factors such as fluctuating daily hormone levels would not interfere with the results. One week later, all study participants returned, played a computerized card game and had their hormone levels measured again.
The bonding between the women caused progesterone but not cortisol levels to increase. Moreover, an increase in progesterone levels tended to influence the likelihood and willingness to make sacrifices on behalf of a study partner (i.e. risk one’s life) when measured again one week later.
The researchers say that the study findings help to explain why social contact has well-documented health benefits. It also appears that progesterone, like other hormones involved in bonding and helping behavior, enables individuals to suppress self-interest in order to take care of family or friends.
I’ve written previously on the importance of social support and bonding, not only during the transition but during our entire lives. Clearly, helping and supporting our sisters during good and bad times helps overall wellbeing and lends our souls a bit of a boost on our journeys.
Give a gal pal a call, send a hug, provide a smile, caress her soul, take care of her “self” as much as yours’.
A friend, as it were, a second self. Cicero.
Well, well, well…
wellbeing, that is. Is it elusive during the menopause?
Earlier studies have suggested that the way that a woman experiences menopause is dominated by several factors, including changes in the structure of their lives (e.g. social roles, personal relationships). When these changes do not occur as expected, for example, menopause starts early or late, they can cause greater distress than when they occur on time sot to speak. The same holds for menopausal symptoms; those that are perceived as normal are not necessarily unpleasant, while unusually heavy bleeding, emotional outbursts or frequent hot flashes can be disruptive.
I was intrigued when I ran across a study published in 2007 in the journal Contemporary Nursing which explored these very themes. Researchers recruited 18 women who were post-menopausal and self-described as having experienced ‘wellness’ during menopause. Interviews were conducted with all study participants, during which they were asked to describe in greater depth their experiences.
The study findings showed that the menopause experience was dominated by three themes:
The continuity of the experience
How women experience menopause is inevitably individualized and not easily generalizable. Indeed, data demonstrated that the nature of menopause and how women go through ultimately determine sits impact and how disruptive it is. More specifically, abrupt changes in menstrual patterns can be more jarring than incremental slowing and gradual cessation of menstruation.
How embedded menopause becomes in the rest of one’s life
In the course of the interviews, the researchers found that a woman’s ability to incorporate menopause into her life and routines versus allowing it to change the routines was key to maintaining an equilibrium. Hence, bothersome symptoms became only “only one experience among many and not the most outstanding.” Even hot flashes, which can truly disrupt a moment, became no more valuable to an overall experience than other daily events, mainly because these women did not allow them to disrupt familiar patterns and daily activities.
Containment of menopause
Participants who experienced a sense of wellbeing during menopause were able to compartmentalize their symptoms and for the most part, did not allow them to encroach upon the emotional or psychological domains. These women rarely if ever, experienced irritability, nervousness, anxiety or moodiness.
So, what does it mean?
Overall, the researchers found that a key to a sense of wellbeing during the menopause is focus, i.e. women are not focused on physical symptoms but instead, consider them part of the the overall experience of being a woman and are able to place them in the background. In other words, “the body [is] experienced in a “taken for granted way” so that menopause is not disruptive to an overall continuity of living.
The women who were studied were fortunate in that fluctuating hormones did not appear to alter or disrupt their moods or emotions. Hence, they were quite well-equipped to challenge the natural changes that were occurring and keep them away from the foreground. That aside, continuity and continuing to live one’s life without allowing physical changes to get in the way appeared to define the experience of menopause in more positive terms.
This brings to mind the word “natural” and challenges the notion of menopause as a disease. If we can find ways to stay on an even keel and take actions that minimize daily eruptions as nuisances rather than allowing them to disrupt, then we are indeed, on the right track. Wellbeing during menopause isn’t elusive; it simply requires careful planning and a different mindset.
What do you think?
Read MorePink elephant
In 1980, I worked as an intern on the municipal bonds floor of a well-known brokerage/financial institution. Although it was certainly not my “thang,” I learned a tremendous amount about how the business world operated, and most importantly, about the games that people play.
One thing that struck me in particular at that time was the role of women in this business and how they dressed and behaved. Women were not abundant in positions of power, and those who were, well, in some respects, they emulated men; they were aggressive, competitive and not particularly kind to one another.
Clearly, things have changed drastically in the almost three decades that have followed. But one thing that hasn’t changed much is how sisters act in the workplace.
A line from this wonderful article that appeared in yesterday’s New York Times made me realize that certain stereotypes continue to perpetuate bad behavior. And, that as Author Peggy Klaus so aptly writes, “the pink elephant is lurking in the room and we pretend it’s not there.”
The pink elephant is lurking in the room.
Klaus’ point is that rather than help build each others career, women often work to derail each other, engaging instead in “verbal abuse, job sabotage, misuse of authority and destroying of relationships.” She cites data suggesting that this type of behavior is directed from women to women >70% of the time, while the men who are “bullies in the workplace,” direct their aggression equally to both genders.
Klaus offers numerous reasons why women become aggressors in the workplace: scarcity of positions, bootstrap (I pulled myself up, why should I help you?) and hyperemotionality that leads to an overinvestment in workplace occurrences that cause them to hold grudges.
Her point, however, is not to determine the why but rather, engage one another to put an end to this type of behavior.
I’ve written previously that as we grow older, friendships and support of one another are essential to our overall wellbeing. Regardless of whether its in the workplace or in our personal lives, supportive relationships allow the soul to flourish and grow. Personal resources as they pertain to social support also help see us through the rougher aspects of menopause.
Should women give preferential treatment to one another? No, absolutely not. But as Klaus says, perhaps we should start treating one another as we want our “nieces, daughters, granddaughters an sisters to be treated.” We should simply… acknowledge the pink elephant in the room. And show it the door.