Posts Tagged "midlife"

Solitude

Posted by Liz on Aug 2, 2009 in musings | 2 comments

The French novelist Colette once wrote:

“There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall.”

I have always been a person who needs and cherishes my alone time. In fact, being alone is often a deliberate choice rather than something that is forced upon me. As we get older, solitude allows a break from the busy-ness of life, from the noise, from the distractions. It rejuvenates the soul and provides an opportunity to look closely within, to take stock, to gain clarity and balance.

However, as Colette so aptly says, it can also be detrimental to our health when our needs or when fears, allow solitude to become all-consuming.

At times, immersing oneself in solitude may be the correct path. Other times, solitude may lead to a burrowing that is so deep, that in the end, not only do you lose those who care for you, but your soul as well.

Poetic license with Lao-Tsu: It takes strength to love someone deeply. It takes courage to allow yourself to be deeply loved.

Just a thought for a Sunday afternoon.

The Roundup: July news and tidbits

Posted by Liz on Jul 31, 2009 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

[Credit: Special Thanks to artist Darryl Willison of Whimsicalwest.com  Please visit his site and support his work.]

A lot of interesting going-on’s during the month of July make for a wonderful roundup. Peruse and enjoy!

• Weathering your hot flashes – Where you live may influence how much you flash; here’s why.
• Acupuncture and hot flashes: a winning combination -Finally, researchers have figured out how to apply Western scientific methodology without diluting the core of Eastern philosophy. The result is a win-win for women with hot flashes!
• Sexuality during menopause: blurring the lines -When we think about sexuality during midlife, are we excluding the role that our emotional experiences, culture and how we relate to one another play?
• Men. Oh. Pause. Rewind. – Guest blogger, author, screenwriter and editor Amy Ferris shares an excerpt of her new book: ‘Marrying George Clooney: Confessions from a Midlife Crisis’ and provides a glimpse into her midlife rollercoaster.
• Menopausal Magnestism – Can’t have the heat of summer without some humor. This new product will ignite and delight you!
• Close to the bone – Can certain types of isoflavones prevent bone loss as well as hormones or bisphosphonates?
• Three’s a charm…breast cancer, lung cancer deaths and ovarian cancer – HRT is linked to increases in ovarian cancer. When does the madness stop?
• What did I forget/hear/see/say… – Researchers say to think twice before gaining weight during menopause. You may lose more than your figure!
• Early menopause and lung cancer – Have you had a hysterectomy? You may be at risk for lung cancer – read more.
• Menopausal pregnancy? – Dr. Frankenstein would’ve had a field day:  a provocative tale of midlife pregnancies and ovarian transplants.
• Just the facts, Jack – Is the Hot Flash Relief Program doing a mind meld on you? Here’s a few tips on how to discern comparative data.

The Roundup: June’s News and Tidbits

Posted by Liz on Jun 29, 2009 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

[Credit: Special Thanks to artist Darryl Willison of Whimsicalwest.com  Please visit his site and support his work.]

I’ve decided to start a new monthly feature — The Roundup.

Developed for my dear readers who only visit this blog periodically, The Roundup will provide an ‘at-a-glance’ overview of the month’s posts. The goal? To help you save time and access the posts you care most about.

I’ll be curious to hear your thoughts about this new feature so please, share your comments.

Hence, without further ado, here are June’s highlights:

• More news on the HRT front: lung cancer – Preempro shown to increase the risk for death among women who develop lung cancer.
• Something for da guyz – Writer Dana Jennings shares his personal experience with hot flashes. Yes, “his!”
• Gal pals – your second self – Emotional closeness boosts progesterone levels. Can friendships help in ways we’ve never imagined?
• She’s so hot and it’s so cold – A new book lays the groundwork for how western medicine has turned menopause into a disease, and what we can do about it.
• Age ain’t nothing but…. – Is it possible that some of the symptoms we associate with menopause are actually associated with aging?
• Feeling irritable? – Researchers finally pinpoint the exact hormones responsible for irritability towards others during menopause.
• Early menopause, part I – Ever wonder about the distinction between early and regular menopause? Here’s a brief primer.
• A panacea for aging skin? An anticancer creams fights wrinkles. But should you try it?
• Hot, hot hot! – Did you start and then stop HRT? Your hot flashes are likely to return.
• Are you rubberstamping the cougar narrative? Meet Lina, a hot Brazilian 73-year-old who is defying boundaries in more ways than one.
• Flava flavonoid – Good news for all you berry lovers. Tastes good and good for you…in ways that you could never imagine!
• Something to chew on – menopause gum –  A one-stop shop for gum chewers? Or another scam?

Are you rubberstamping the ‘cougar’ narrative?

Posted by Liz on Jun 22, 2009 in Inspiration, Uncategorized | 7 comments

I’ve been somewhat amused and a wee bit miffed at the double standards placed upon women who “prey” on younger men. While their sugar daddy counterparts get away with endless forays into the dating world without nary a word, these women are dubbed “cougars” and frowned upon. However, have you ever considered that these younger men don’t feel preyed upon at all but prefer the company of a well-rounded, intelligent, sexy woman who can titillate their minds, souls AND bodies?

Perhaps the cougar ‘narrative’ and its fallacies should be put to rest.

If you have even a wee bit of doubt about what I’m saying, I’d like to introduce you to 73-year-old Rio de Janero resident Lina Merceis. Lina is the star of a documentary short entitled “Bye Bye, Cest Fini,” and the ultimate inspiration for any woman who believes that life ends at midlife and beyond. Lina, having suffered early disappointments in marriage and love, is now dedicating herself to herself. Lina deliberately chooses the single life, claiming that men are too much work. ‘Seductress to a slew of 30 somethings,  she enjoys her lovers, acknowledges her occasional loneliness, and confesses to a good friend (as they sit on the beach eying the candy) that sex and fun are her life prescriptions not options. Not surprisingly, the young men who are fortunate to become one of Lina’s lovers are happy to oblige.

My friend Twitter friend Erika over at Redheaded Fury wrote an interesting missive last week in response to a Denver Post article about ‘Cougars on the Prowl.’ Her point? That society’s caricature of the lonely older woman preying on younger men might not be entirely accurate. I think that Lina is a testament to that. More importantly, watching Lina onscreen taught me that  life gets started when you decide, not when something (or someone) else does.

Take the reins ladies; there’s no time like the present to write your own narrative (and be proud of it).

Wednesday Bubble: new year, new you!

Posted by Liz on May 20, 2009 in Uncategorized | 13 comments

I’m not going to burst any bubbles or shatter any misconceptions this week. Rather, I’ve decided to serve a few slices of inspiration that resonate with me and perhaps will do so with you as well.

Tomorrow, I turn 48; my mother turns 78. Yes, I was born on my mother’s birthday. So I would like to dedicate this post to my mom. Because I find myself looking in the mirror a bit too much lately.

The past year has resonated with me deeply. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve enjoyed my 40s immensely and I will still have an opportunity to enjoy them for another two years. But a lot has happened over the past 364 days and it’s made me realize that my baggage is getting a bit too heavy for comfort. So I’d like to take this year to dump a few mistakes, undo a few regrets, renverser les faux pas and start anew.

As my friend Sissy once said: ” new year; new you!”

Following are the top 20 tidbits that midlife has taught me so far:

1. Try to make a point to laugh each day. And then laugh some more.

2. Take some time every day to simply “be.”

3. Listen. And then react. Not the other way around.

4. Do one kind thing for someone you know, and someone you don’t at least a few times a week, if not everyday.

5. Nobody’s perfect. Including you.

6. Let those who love you, love you. Just because.

7. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. And take it.

8. Underneath the grease paint there’s someone special. Take the time to get to know them.

9. Don’t just say “I love you;” show why.

10. Be vulnerable; it’s okay.

11. Try not to internalize things so much; it’s not always about you.

12. Don’t be afraid to fail or better yet, succeed.

13. Believe in yourself as much as you believe in the people you love and nourish.

14. Just because someone says something hurtful, it doesn’t mean that you have to believe them.

15. Sometimes things are gray, not black and white.

16. Relationships will ebb and flow. Being in sync is great. Being out of sync is a perfect time for self-discovery and reality checks.

17. Strength comes in many forms.

18. You’re only as old as you feel. And sometimes you will feel older or younger depending on your mood, hormone levels, day of the week or weather.

19. Good lighting and a well-placed mirror can do wonders for your soul.

20. Chocolate, red wine and candy are your friends. In moderation. And sometimes, in excess.

And one to grow on, of course…

48? The new 30, easily.

Happy Birthday Mom! Happyto be 48 and “middle-aged” me!