Posts Tagged "career"

Where’s your focus?

Posted by Liz on Jul 2, 2010 in Inspiration | 2 comments

Photographer Alex Prager was asked by the New York Times Supplement to do a photo shoot with women going through menopause. You can find the image that she captured here.

Alex described her assignment and the shot she got as follows:

“There were no rules – all they told me was they wanted pictures of older women and I could develop whatever concept I wanted; I had free rein…The taxi leaked and the rain machine was out of control. So she was soaked and miserable – but it made the shot…she was unhappy for real.”

It’s a beautiful photo and I encourage you to look at it. However, what strikes me is the focus on misery, unhappiness, and a haunting for something other than what “is.” Ironically, Prager says that she wanted the model to look backward, as if perhaps to imply that she longs for what was past and not what is ahead.

Are women in midlife longing for something else? Or are they now able to take life by the reins and reach or redefine personal goals?

Two weeks ago, I sat on a panel at Women Grow Business Bootcamp, a half-day conference devoted to empowering female entrepreneurs in their professional and personal lives. I spoke about evolution and the need to adapt to changes in one’s environment in order to continue to grow and attain goals. While  the context that day was on my business and marketing, the larger context was really life and the track that I’ve been on over the past 25 years, pausing to look over my shoulder but trying to keep my focus on the path ahead.

So, when I consider the question about longing, I realize that for the most part, my longing takes me forward and not backward. My visits to the past provide the foundation for my journey. However, a key factor remains true: as I’ve grown older, I do try to take more time to not only live my passion and personal/business goals but to live within them, meditating on what works and what doesn’t so that I can continue to move in a forward direction.

When was the last time you stepped back and asked yourself where your focus is?  Are you are looking ahead or consistently looking over your shoulder to see if you’ve caught up yet? What does your menopause and midlife look like so far?

Pink elephant

Posted by Liz on Jan 12, 2009 in career | 6 comments

In 1980, I worked as an intern on the municipal bonds floor of a well-known brokerage/financial institution. Although it was certainly not my “thang,” I learned a tremendous amount about how the business world operated, and most importantly, about the games that people play.

One thing that struck me in particular at that time was the role of women in this business and how they dressed and behaved. Women were not abundant in positions of power, and those who were, well, in some respects, they emulated men; they were aggressive, competitive and not particularly kind to one another.

Clearly, things have changed drastically in the almost three decades that have followed. But one thing that hasn’t changed much is how sisters act in the workplace.

A line from this wonderful article that appeared in yesterday’s New York Times made me realize that certain stereotypes continue to perpetuate bad behavior. And, that as Author Peggy Klaus so aptly writes, “the pink elephant is lurking in the room and we pretend it’s not there.”

The pink elephant is lurking in the room.

Klaus’ point is that rather than help build each others career, women often work to derail each other, engaging instead in “verbal abuse, job sabotage, misuse of authority and destroying of relationships.” She cites data suggesting that this type of behavior is directed from women to women >70% of the time, while the men who are “bullies in the workplace,” direct their aggression equally to both genders.

Klaus offers numerous reasons why women become aggressors in the workplace: scarcity of positions, bootstrap (I pulled myself up, why should I help you?) and hyperemotionality that leads to an overinvestment in workplace occurrences that cause them to hold grudges.

Her point, however, is not to determine the why but rather, engage one another to put an end to this type of behavior.

I’ve written previously that as we grow older, friendships and support of one another are essential to our overall wellbeing. Regardless of whether its in the workplace or in our personal lives, supportive relationships allow the soul to flourish and grow. Personal resources as they pertain to social support also help see us through the rougher aspects of menopause.

Should women give preferential treatment to one another? No, absolutely not. But as Klaus says, perhaps we should start treating one another as we want our “nieces, daughters, granddaughters an sisters to be treated.” We should simply… acknowledge the pink elephant in the room. And show it the door.

Transition

Posted by Liz on Jun 18, 2008 in women's health | 0 comments

Menopause is called “the transition,” a time when the character and frequency of menstrual periods start to change and eventually cease. This transition is often accompanied by a larger life transition, a “crossroads” as you will, one that can make decisions difficult. I know several women around my age whose children are leaving (or have left) the nest, who are going through divorce, who are experiencing self-doubt and are feeling confused about what’s next and how to go about finding one’s way though the obstacles, be they their health, career, or family.

Social media guru Jeff Pulver has an interesting blogpost today about transitions and trusting oneself. I strongly encourage you to check it out.

One of the things that struck me during my conversation with Denise Polacek the other day was the fact that she left a successful, lucrative career as a technology transfer professional to pursue her own path. Using contacts, networking, experience, desire and commitment, Denise created a company, Life Quality Technologies, that is poised to revolutionize the way that women approach the transition and the symptoms that accompany it. Her goal? To provide women experiencing hot flashes with an alternative to drug therapy with one simple idea: cooling.

Denise told that she strongly believes, as I do, that a majority of women are open-minded and willing to explore alternative paths. Jeff Pulver says to trust ourselves. I think that both of these visionaries succeed because trying something new is viewed as a challenge that despite hardships, can yield growth and reveal unexpected surprises,

This transition that many of us are going through — in our bodies, in our lives, in our careers — is universal. Perhaps as we forge our paths, we should remember that it is only one of the many crossroads that we will face in our lives, that there will be good days and bad days and that stumbling (and even falling on our faces) is the rule, not the exception. As Queen wrote, “your every day is filled with sunshine. But into every life a little rain must fall…”