sexual desire

Wednesday Bubble: Hot stuff

Posted by Liz on Dec 24, 2008 in sexual desire, sexual health | 5 comments

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Those of you who regularly read this blog know that I’ve spent quite a bit of time this Fall writing about sex. Sexual desire, sexual dysfunction,  testosterone and sex, self respect, happiness….sex.

However, when a friend of mine recently mentioned that it is commonly believed amongst men is that women going through menopause are insatiable,  I had to jump on him (figuratively, of course) and the topic.

This statement blows all the data proving otherwise, well, right out the window.

Women going through menopause are insatiable.

So ladies and gentlemen, the soapbox is yours’ today on Flashfree. Let’s burst the bubble and put the myth and misconceptions about midlife and sex to rest, once and for all (okay, I can’t really promise not to write about this topic again but once and for all this week….):

What are your experiences? Take the poll or comment. Let’s talk!

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Sexual healing

Posted by Liz on Nov 23, 2008 in sexual desire, sexual health | 1 comment

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I’ve written several posts about the use of testosterone for sexual dysfunction in menopausal women and its less than pleasant side effects, such as unwanted hair growth and development of the metabolic syndrome.

Fortunately, Dr. Christiane Northrup has a different and much healthier perspective about sexual dysfunction during the transition.

One of the first things she writes, in her newly published “The Secret Pleasures of Menopause,” is that an important key to achieving health and healthy sex during and after the menopause is to boost one’s nitric oxide levels. Nitric oxide, she explains, is a free radical produced in the lining of blood vessels, by lung and white blood cells, and nerve cells in the brain, that “resets your power grid and reboots your body, a secret weapon for optimal health.”

In order to produce more nitric oxide, you need to engage your mind, body an spirit in positive activities, such as:

• associating with positive people
• eating healthily and exercising
• being kind/taking pride in yourself
• realizing you are what you believe
• letting go of the past and embracing the present
• understanding that health and sex go hand-in-hand

Dr. Northrup suggests that we become “ardent explorers” of our own pleasure, in essence, become our own partners in sex. Turn ourselves on and tell ourselves often that a turned on woman is irresistible. Recognize and release anger as much as we can. Commit to regularly exploring our pleasure potential and live our lives in ways that “excite, motivate, and turns on” other people in our lives.

A few additional tidbits:

• Think heartwarming, sexy, uplifting, kind, loving and positive thoughts about yourself and others EVERY DAY
• Strive for commitment, trust and vulnerability with your partner
• Do things that keep you in touch with your life force…cultivate your inner pleasure and exchange it for stress, and decide that this half of your life is really the best
• Get out of your head and into your body….regularly

Desire pleasure, know that you deserve it, believe you can bring it into your life, overcome your resistance to accepting it, and embrace it.

Honestly, I’m not usually into this touchy feely stuff. But I encourage you to read Dr. Northup’s book and start to practice some of these positive, life affirming, love affirming steps. Pleasure truly starts within by changing our mindsets about our limitations, we can  fine tune our bodies in ways that make us and others feel great.

As Dr. Northrup says, our bodies were made to experience unlimited pleasure.

And of course, pleasure begets pleasure….

Wednesday Bubble: Why?

Posted by Liz on Nov 19, 2008 in sexual desire, sexual health | 3 comments

Would you prefer to have a better sex drive and a beard? Or the opposite?

Can’t decide?

About a week and a half ago, news hit the headlines about a new FDA-approved testosterone patch for women to restore declining libidos. The patch, called Intrinsa, was tested in a study of 841postmenopausal not currently on hormone replacement therapy who received either one of two doses of the patch or a dummy placebo patch over 52 weeks. The patch’s effectiveness (namely, restoring sexual satisfaction) was measured up to week 24, or for roughly half the study.

The results, which were published in the esteemed New England Journal of Medicine, showed that compared to a dummy patch, using Intrinsa was associated with significant increases in sexual desire and a decline in sexual distress. Overall, the higher dose patch led to modest improvements in sexual function.

In other words, wearing a patch was significantly better than using nothing at all but not life-shattering in terms of improving sexual function.

The caveat? Unwanted hair growth, which occurred in about a third of women using the higher dose patch and in about 23% of women using the lower dose.

Results of this study undoubtedly leave hope for women in menopause experiencing declines in sexual function. In fact, I’ve written previously about the positive effects of taking testosterone to improve sexual desire. However, I’ve also found some evidence that testosterone increases the risk of metabolic syndrome and heart disease in women.

The other rub? You have to use the patch all the time, which means that you are subjecting yourself to testosterone and negative side effects, such as hair growth,  24/7. Researchers don’t have any answers about the safety of long-term use.

Fortunately, there are some very positive steps you can take to improve menopausal declines in sexual desire and function, which Dr. Christine Northrup says, are often misnomers. So, I leave you with this:

Why would you risk unwanted hair growth and other yet to be defined side effects when you can solve the problem in a positive, affirming, healthy way?

More to come!

Libido

Posted by Liz on Aug 4, 2008 in sexual desire | 0 comments

Many clients of Sigmund Freud spent hours on his infamous couch (pictured) discussing their libido (or lack thereof). Freud invented the term to describe sexual drive in his patients, and believed that sexual experiences in infancy were what drove later emotional issues in adulthood.

Other psychologists (e.g., Carl Jung) have debunked Freud’s theories and more contemporary experts in the field believe that while libido is rooted in hormones, it is largely driven by culture and individual experience.

Here’s a stat:

Approximately 70% of post-menopausal women experience a loss of libido.

Undoubtedly, declining hormones play a large role in loss of sexual interest and desire after menopause. But have you considered how emotions and self-esteem may come into play as well?

So far as I am concerned, there is no reason why women can’t enjoy a healthy and exciting sex life during and after menopause. In fact, although hormones like androgens may influence libido or behavior, they reportedly have less of an impact on the ability to reach orgasm. This suggests that perhaps, how we feel about ourselves during this transition, coupled with the societal stigma of aging, may play a role in our sexuality.

So, how do we change this perception?

Sex expert Betty Dodson spiced up her postmenopausal life by playing a call girl. Okay, that’s a bit extreme for most of us but it certainly gives a new meaning to role play. For the rest of us, regaining one’s sex life during and after the transition may require a new approach, new tools and some creativity.

Any thoughts? Email me privately and I’ll summarize in an upcoming post.