Humour: pretty decent medicine
The Royals had court jesters to supply them with humour. What’s your source?
When I was a kid, my parents subscribed to Reader’s Digest. In addition to the “I am Joe’s Kidney” features, I remember the humour columns, like “Humour in Uniform,” “Life’s Like That,” and my joke-obsessed-kid favorite, “Laughter, the best medicine.” It’s still there, at least here in Canada. In addition to the monthly magazines, our house had a bunch of anthologies of funnies that would have come with “Reader’s Digest Condensed Books” (not to be confused with Condensed Milk, apparently).
I don’t know if those jokes got me into being funny early on, but something did. Humour has been part of my life pretty much as long as I can think, for both positive purposes — if you’re thought of as ‘the smart one’ in school, ‘the funny one’ is a big step up — and for negative — I spent a lot of years using jokes and humour to keep people away from any real feelings I might have had.
But when it comes to health, humour is pretty decent medicine. Trust me on this one. As a bladder cancer guy, I have had multiple people dealing with the areas I normally only show one person over a period of years — and being in a city with a med school and multiple health science programs means that you’re not only dealing with the urologist / nurse / sonographer / whatever, you’re dealing with residents / interns / students… Sometimes the only way to deal with the more embarrassing parts of the whole affair is to crack wise. I think it helps them too.
But there’s more to humour than just dispersing embarrassment. There’s lots of research that shows humour can help when you’re ill, and help before you get ill. One study of prostate cancer support groups found that for participants, humour is a way of sharing information about their health and feelings that doesn’t leave the men feeling vulnerable. Given what we already know about men’s unwillingness to be open about their health, that’s a valuable thing.
There can be a dark side to humour, though, especially as men sometimes use it. Sometimes jokes can be couched in mean or insulting terminology, and sometimes (as I know to my regret!) humour that works in one context doesn’t in another. I’ve made some jokes about cancer that have gotten a laugh from some people and dropped jaws elsewhere.
Ask yourself if you have enough laughter in your life. If not, find ways of seeking it out or making your own fun. It may not be the best medicine — if you have a heart attack, I’d recommend a bypass rather than a Marx brothers marathon — but it’s more important than you might think.
CC-licenced photo by Flickr user neiljs
Read MoreGuyside: Fall food thoughts that aren’t hard to swallow.
This may or may not resemble your humble columnist at a barbecue.
Fall is a wonderful season. If you live in a climate where heat and humidity dominate summer, you start to feel relief. Autumn colours make the world beautiful. And (at least for me), food begins to change along with the season.
I love to grill food, and in our household, we take advantage of warm summer days to cook and eat outside as much as we can. But as days get shorter and cooler, we start to move the cooking inside, and that changes the nature of the dishes that get prepared too.
It’s already known that men tend to eat less healthily than women. And It’s really easy for men (and by men I mean me) to enjoy the grilling season a little too much. Sausages, thick steaks, ribs, rich barbecue sauces and the like are great in moderation, but easy to overdo. Even some of the salads I associate with summer have rich dressings that might reduce the benefits of all those healthy veggies. And none of this even begins to address some of the junky food that we eat as the day goes on.
I try to take fall as a sign to revisit what I eat a little bit. I’m not going to go macrobiotic or vegan, but it’s never a bad thing to examine your food choices every so often. Here’s some of the things I do:
- I’m the main cook in our household, so I do a few simple things to make food both good and healthy when shorter days come. I shop from a list, and stock up on basics that I know will get used up over time without going bad. If I’m making a dish that requires some perishable ingredient, I find other dishes to make that will use up that ingredient. For example, I made a pork curry on the weekend that needed ginger root. So during the rest of this week, there’s also a chicken tikka recipe that used ginger root and tonight is pork chops marinated in ginger.
- I try and make some healthy substitutions of ingredients or techniques where I can. Rather than white rice, I’ll use brown rice, or even better, brown basmati rice. Rather than make French fries in a skillet, I do ‘em in the oven. I’ll also switch up sweet potatoes for plain old potatoes. And I try to make things like marinades, dressings, and the like from scratch rather than use store-bought ones. It’s usually cheaper and better.
- The biggest additions to the menu in the fall are soups and slow-cooker meals. Soups or slow-cooker dishes usually mean multiple days are covered, making for stress-free cooking days if my partner and i are busy, and scratch soups are pretty simple to make. Nutritious and delicious works for me.
My big weakness? Lunches. I work from home, so I get to make lunches rather than eat out every day, but my instincts are to have a canned soup (lots of sodium) or a sandwich (processed meat); not always the best choices. So perhaps this fall I’ll try to do better with my lunch choices.
Maybe it’s time for you to take a look at what you cook and eat.
Photo: CC-licenced from the US Marine Corps Archives on Flickr.
Read MoreGuyside: Men, health, and denial.
I can’t believe I’m writing a post here inspired by Rob Ford. And yet, here I go.
This is not about Rob Ford’s politics, or about his consumption of various substances both licit and il. This is about male denial around health issues. The famous (notorious?) mayor of Toronto’s 2014 re-election campaign was derailed by the announcement that a tumour had been discovered in his abdomen on September 9. The tumour is, apparently, being analyzed in preparation for treatment at a Toronto hospital.
One of the things that leapt out at me from the first stories about this latest roller-coaster development in the Ford story was this quote from a story in the Toronto Star:
Ford was complaining of “left, lower quadrant abdominal pain” for three months before the pain became “unbearable” Wednesday morning, Devlin said.
Since the initial tests on Ford, he’s also apparently had a lung biopsy, and an update on his health is expected later today (September 17, as I write this.)
Combine this with two other facts: one, that Ford’s father died in 2006 of colon cancer, and two, that Ford had a tumour on his appendix in 2009 that necessitated the removal of his appendix and part of his colon, and you have what appears to be the classic case of a man refusing to seek medical assistance. I’m no psychic, but I don’t have a good feeling about this.
In this, Ford is far from alone. A 2005 literature review in the Journal of Advanced Nursing showed that men are much less likely to seek medical help than women for disorders ranging from psychological disorders to physical disabilities. One UK study identified men’s refusal to seek help as the most important medical issue for men. And another UK report points out that while men are considered “advantaged” in many areas (salaries, for example), our health outcomes are worse than women’s.
Whether it’s machismo, stoicism, putting work or other factors before health, or something else, too many men are ignoring symptoms, assuming they’ll go away, or simply lying to themselves about their health. And it’s costing people their lives. One of the saddest findings of the Men’s Health Forum report is that when men do present themselves for assistance, the disease in question is too often at a later, more serious stage. Another sad fact is that men are far less likely to seek assistance for psychological conditions like depression.
When I first saw blood in my urine in 2006, I did two things: told my partner and went to my clinic. My bladder cancer was discovered at an early stage, and I’ve been lucky enough to not require radiation, chemo, or catheterization from more severe forms of cancer. If I’d shrugged off that first sign, what might have happened?
For your own sake, and the sake of those who love you: go to your doctor, your nurse-practitioner, or whatever other health professional you ought to go to, especially when something unusual happens.
Creative Commons-licenced photo by Flickr user Alistair Gilfillan.
Read MoreGuyside: a little personal history through wartime mail
Graves at the Canadian War Cemetery at Bergen-op-Zoom, Netherlands, where my uncle Bill is one of 1,047 Canadians buried.
Since I’ve been lucky enough to be born in Canada, and since I chose not to enlist in our armed forces in my life, I’ve never experienced war. But there is lots of service in my family. My brother collected a pension after a career in the Canadian Forces; my father piloted a Sherman tank through Holland and Belgium in 1944 and 1945; his brother landed on Juno Beach in Normandy and fought the European campaign all the way through; and two of my mother’s brothers joined up for WWII. Sadly, only one of them came back. And that’s really where this story begins.
My mom died on August 29. She was 89. And part of the family mythology that I grew up with was Uncle Bill. When we went to our summer cottage, she’d remember how Bill would swim from one shore all the way across the lake and back (a swim I was never fit enough to manage, likely two miles or more), worrying my grandmother greatly.
He commanded shore defences in Cape Breton, where my family was from, and gave up a commission so he could go overseas. A land mine grievously injured him, and he died at the age of 33, a bachelor, in Belgium, October 26, 1944. He was buried in a Commonwealth cemetery in Holland.
As my brother and I and our partners prepared my mother’s house for being vacant for a while (neither of us live close by), we came upon a few stacks of letters in the basement, sent by my mother’s uncles from 1942-1945, and a number of other things that related to their service. I’ve barely scratched the surface of the letters so far, but they are remarkable. First, the quantity of letters that Bill produced was amazing for a modern person, who puts pen to paper occasionally at best. He wrote to his parents, to his sisters, to his brother, and probably to friends as well.
Second, the tone of the letters. Ones to my mother, his baby sister, are teasing and affectionate. He calls my mom “Ebby” or “Eb”, a play on words for her name, Evelyn. He teases his other sisters as well, but reserves a more respectful tone for his parents, my grandparents, although he teased them on occasion too. He appeared to have a pretty good handle on what would be censored, because there are only a few passages cut or blotted out. And, likely in part because soldiers were told to be positive in their letters home, he was almost entirely positive, rarely speaking even of the minor difficulties of wartime life, deprivations, cold, wet. His biggest complaint was lack of mail from his family, and it seems his biggest hobby throughout his war was girls.
As I delve into these letters, I’m beginning to see why my mother mythologized my uncle. To use the parlance of the time, his letters paint him as a “really swell fellow — simply grand.” I would love to have had the opportunity to meet him, but we missed each other by 22 years. And I am again struck by the differences — at least the superficial ones — between the men of that time and the men of our time. My father’s uncle Cam, a veteran of the entire European campaign never shared his war experiences with anyone, to the family’s knowledge, and it never seemed to have affected him. It feels as if the men of that generation returned from a global conflict and got on with life. I think I could take a lesson or two from the men of that time in simply getting on with things.
Were the men of that time perfect? Undoubtedly not. They were products of a different time. Some of the attitudes and behaviours not even noticed back then would be considered abhorrent today. But it’s kind of neat to be given the opportunity to glimpse through a window into your family’s history, to imagine meeting a long-since-lost man in your family, to hope that you would find him up to your expectations, and that you would meet his.
Photo credit: The Commonwealth War Graves Commission.
Read MoreGuyside: The Trick to Social Media Happiness? Spend Less Time By Doing More
I’ve found myself wondering whether social media is all it’s cracked up to be.
Sure it makes it easier to connect with people from all over the world, from Nigeria to Nicaragua and from Pakistan to Poland, but how much satisfaction and contentment are we really getting from this online craze?
Social Media And Value
It’s common these days to see people heavily engaged in social media, chatting to their friends about any topic under the sun. They’re either on Facebook or Google+, or they’re on Twitter telling the world about the strange homeless man they’ve just walked past.
But despite all of this usage that social media gets, is there a lot of value going on around here? Are there any debates as to how to solve the problems of the world, or even a genuine problem that one of their friends is going through? Better yet, how many conversations in social media do you get where at least one person feels genuinely better having had that conversation?
Social Media And Time
Let’s look at another perspective on this, look at the amount of time we spend active on social media sites. The extremists spend up to 7-8 hours a day on social networks, but I believe the average person of today spends between 1-2 hours a day.
Now, let’s say that someone spends 1 hour a weekday on social media, and 2 hours a day on weekends, chatting away with their friends and viewing the latest photos and tweets. It sounds like a ‘normal’ amount, right? Multiply each weekday by 5, and each weekend day by 2, and you’re left with a weekly social media total of 9 hours a week on social media sites.
Again, this may seem like a normal and ordinary amount for you, but let’s now look at what you’re spending those 9 hours on.
Social Media And Content
Let’s look at some of the things you can do on social media:
– Instant messaging
– Updating statuses
– Sending individual/direct messages
– Promoting yours, or someone else’s content
Looking at these items, we can certainly keep in touch with our friends, and we can keep up regular relations with our clients. This is all well and good, but take this away, and what is left? What else can you do in social media besides these afore-mentioned items?
The truth is, not a lot.
Sure, you can play games and you can ‘poke’ your friends and family, but is this really important? Even referring to what is listed above, how much time do you need to be spending there? Do you really need to spend 9 hours a week on keeping in touch with friends and clients?
Granted, some of the more important relationships in your life will warrant a longer time, but the more important relationships in our lives are also maintained outside social media, and even outside the internet. Our families and our closest friends are traditionally the ‘more important relationships’, and how many of them are based primarily on a social media network?
Take away the ‘core relationships’ of your life and you’re left with those relationships that are standard, such as those with our clients and the rest of our social circle. Do you really need, or want, to be spending 9 hours a week building a relationship with them?
That’s a question that only you can answer for yourself, but I believe a good portion of those 9 hours can be spent otherwise.
Social Media And Society
Let’s consider the big picture – social media is meant to represent, at least in theory, the ‘society of the world’. It’s meant to be the voice which communicates to the world what the ‘common person’ is thinking, and what the common person wants. In other words, social media is meant to be our way of communicating with the world at large.
Do you think it’s doing a good job?
Personally, I don’t think it’s doing a good job at all. There’s too much mindless chatter, too much time wasted on activities that are either trivial or completely meaningless. And the worst part is that this isn’t likely to end any time soon.
If social media wishes to truly provide happiness on a deeper scale, then it needs to provide deep and lasting value. Enabling someone to provide a virtual cake for a friend on their birthday is not deep and lasting value. Having a deep conversation with someone about their countries’ politics, and discussing ways to improve is a much better way to provide deep and lasting value.
In fact, discussing deeper issues and opening up on a level that both parties agree upon and trust, is something that can quite easily come about. How? The trick is to be more aware.
Be Aware
Social media is the same as any other feature in this world – you get out of it what you put into it. If I was to spend an hour on Facebook viewing other people’s profiles and checking for new photos, then I’m not going to get much out of it. But if I have a meaningful conversation about a third-world crisis with someone, then I’m going to feel much more engaged and energised as a result.
So here’s the key – be more aware of what you use social media for. That’s my challenge to you. The next time you log onto your Google+ or your Twitter account, decide there and then what you’re going to do with your time. Then, as you’re using that social network, be aware of your actions and what you’re clicking on. If you find yourself drifting off into auto-pilot, bring yourself back to your pre-set agenda. Simple as that.
By being more aware, you can get more value out of your social media time, and possibly spend less time by doing more. There’s a lot of benefit up for grabs here.
So I’ll see you in the chatroom?
image: Paloetic
Read MoreGuyside: How to diet and exercise like your life depends on it.
You would think that surviving cancer would be enough, but it’s not. Completing cancer treatments or undergoing surgery is only the beginning. Most cancer survivors are eager to return to good health, but aren’t always ready to think beyond recovery.
It’s even more challenging for anyone who discovers they have additional health complications prior to being diagnosed or as a by-product of recovery. The last thing you want to hear as a cancer survivor is that you’re also a high risk for heart disease.
That was me. Despite resuming my regular exercise schedule six weeks after surgery, I was disappointed to discover both — the high cholesterol prior to being diagnosed with kidney cancer was higher and my borderline high blood pressure had become high, a common by-product after a radical nephrectomy.
My previous doctor was already convinced that diet and more exercise wouldn’t help. He said my cholesterol, particularly my LDL (the so called “bad cholesterol”) was too high to bring down. In fact, had I not been diagnosed with kidney cancer, he would have prescribed a regimen of medication, statins or likely some alternative.
“As high as your cholesterol is? You’ll never do it,” he said. “Don’t worry about it. You‘ll be able to eat what you want and these little pills will take care of it.”
When my new doctor noted the same findings, he almost reached the same conclusion. The only reason he didn’t? I had six months to prepare a counter offer, promising to increase my cardio and incorporate any diet pointers that he was willing to offer up.
“All right,” he said, printing off an article on a high fiber diet. “I think your previous doctor was probably right, but read this, do what it says, and I’ll see you in three months.”
Developing a diet and exercise program like your life depends on it.
Three months didn’t seem like a very long time to me. I even asked for him six months, but he wasn’t interested in negotiating. So I left with his three-page diet article and researched some cardio exercise options. That was the plan. Diet and exercise.
Exercise. Not everything is easy for me. In junior high school and the first year of high school, I learned the hard way that I am prone to shin splints. It is the result of being born with congenital talipes equinovarus (club feet). While my feet were corrected, running long distances places additional stress on abnormally short tendons.
As an alternative, I adapted a two-minute workout that required less running while delivering more intensity. The fast-paced routine suggested 20 seconds of six different exercises: high knees, jumps, mountain climbers, single leg hops, squats, and jumping jacks. Once it felt easy, I adapted it to forego the 20-second timer.
By changing the time system to a count system, I no longer had to rely on a timer or glance at a clock. The adapted routine simply includes 100 high knees, 12 jumps, 24 mountain climbers, 20 side-to-side single leg hops, 12 squats, and 20 jumping jacks. I used to do it a few times every day until I started to repeat the cycle (after one cycle felt too easy).
This cardio exercise now augments my regular weight-lifting schedule. I usually perform my cardio in the morning and weight training in the afternoon. Everyone has preferences.
Diet. While my doctor suggested becoming a vegetarian over the long term, I focused instead on what felt realistic and attainable. For me, someone who was raised on a meat-and-potatoes Midwest diet, this simply meant making lateral changes that increased fiber while decreasing saturated fats and proteins that are high in fat or cholesterol.
By lateral changes, I mean that I changed out cereal with milk or eggs for oatmeal and a protein bar. I changed out deli sandwiches on wheat for peanut butter and jelly on whole wheat or shredded turkey on salad and then added an apple or a pear. I changed my family’s weekly dinner entrees from one or two beef, one or two pork, and the balance chicken or seafood to mostly chicken, one or two seafood and fish, one turkey, one pork (or less), and beef every other week. Since I cook the majority of our dinners, it was easy to swap olive oil in recipes calling for butter and other oils. I reduced my dairy intake.
There are dozens of smaller changes that worked out well too. For instance, since I have always enjoyed potato chips, I added a handful of natural sea salt kettle chips at lunch and sunflower seeds at any other time. Rather than having ice cream or some other sweet at night, I might have an apple or a pear. Nuts can help reduce cholesterol too.
It seems to me that the real key was finding an appropriate substitute to satisfy any craving. When that wasn’t possible, I chose moderation over scarcity and sacrifice. If I ate an apple and still craved ice cream, one spoonful would do it. Other times I had a restaurant dessert, lunch-pack bag of chips, or whatever I else wanted. It’s no big deal.
“Keep doing what you are doing,” said my doctor after three months. “Stay on the path, Obi Wan.”
Succeeding with a new exercise routine or changing your diet isn’t won with fads or sacrifice because it’s not a race. It’s a marathon, which makes process goals more important than performance goals. Focus on doing and not what you want done.
Yes, this can be frustrating at times. I had no idea whether my exercise and diet shift was working or not. Only blood pressure checks and a blood test would eventually prove it.
After three months, my blood pressure normalized despite having one kidney and a reasonably stressful job. My cholesterol (including LDL) dropped within two points of normal, enough to prompt my doctor to talk more about studies that are starting to question the logic of treating borderline high cholesterol than those recommending statin alternatives. I also lost ten pounds without giving up any muscle gain as a bonus and have currently adjusted my fitness program to include more core exercises to trim up my waistline because my goals have changed. I’ve lost two inches in four weeks.
Sure, what I did over the course of three months won’t necessarily work for everyone. But if you are like me and would prefer to remain med free, always remember that you don’t really know what exercise and diet can do until you try it. Your body might even surprise you. Mine continues to surprise me. I’m studying to become a personal trainer.
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