Becoming your mother. Effects and misconceptions of aging. A guest post by Cherry Woodburn
There are some days that the people in your circle introduce you to individuals who literally rock your world. When a colleague and friend suggested that Cherry Woodburn was a woman that I wanted to get to know better, she couldn’t have been more correct. Cherry is the founder of Borderless Thinking, a business that teaches women to ‘tame their inner shrew’ and do and become who they really want to be. What a message!
Cherry hits on some very important points in this post on becoming our mothers, on aging and on misconceptions. Denial? You bet I’m in it. Cherry’s post opened my eyes a lot wider.
Enjoy!
About 3 or 4 months ago I lost my waist. I had it in the evening when I went to bed and when I woke up and put on a pair of my pants that are designed to be worn on a waist I discovered my waist was missing. Gone. I don’t know where it went. I searched the closets, trying on other pants thinking perhaps I’d accidentally left my waist behind, but nope, not there.
I’m sure you’ve had it happen: a set of keys, or reading glasses or a bookmark – you knew where they were the night before and since you didn’t leave the house, they still must be there yet you can’t find them in the morning. Familiar right? It’s happened to me too, but this was the first time it occurred with a body part.
Unnerving.
Seriously, when it came to the thickening-of-the-waist that happens to women in middle age, it didn’t happen to me. I was quite smug about it. I liked beating the system. Then, as I mentioned – without warning – several months ago I learned that not only did I not beat the matronly waist system, but I’d become my mother in the process.
“I’m going to be the exception.”
Growing up (which is happening every day of our lives so I don’t know why that expression applies only to our youth) when I spent time with “old” people I knew that some of the things they did were never going to happen to me:
- I would never not want to drive at night. Now I understand why they preferred not to drive at night – your night vision changes as you age. I still drive at night but would prefer not to, at least when it’s rainy. But my night life also doesn’t start at 10 pm like it did in my 20s so it’s really not that big of a deal.
- I’d never re-use aluminum foil like my mom did. You can safely place a large bet on what I’m doing these days with aluminum foil (and it’s not using it as a hat to communicate with aliens).
- I would always make sure I understood what my kids work entailed. At some point my parents stopped asking me questions about my work, which had been teaching Statistical Process Control. Although they tried to understand it, without a frame of reference it made no sense to them. Now my younger son is working with computers in areas that are far beyond how I use computers, with no frame of reference, no real understanding.
- Saying things like my mother did: ” You’ll understand when you get older.” I particularly dislike this one so I rarely say it out loud but I must admit to thinking it.
- Wearing muu-muus and flat shoes. I never, never thought I’d want to wear shapeless things and no cute high heels. But “you’ll see when you get older” that saying “never” ought to be avoided. When you lose your waist you find comfort, literally, in clothing with no binds.
Things I Had Wrong About Aging
The reason that I grapple with the fact that I’m 61 years old is because I haven’t eradicated the misconceptions I formed in my youth about what 61 meant. The misconceptions, in large part, come from a culture still obsessed with youth and perpetuated by the media and cosmetic industries.
Here are a few things I, in my youth, had wrong about the older generation(s).
- Older people curse. In fact I knew the word fuck long before it became the f-bomb; so when a group of kids increases the volume of their cursing when I walk by, they’re not shocking me.
- Old(er) people still want to have sex. [eww…] It’s extra heavenly now – no need for birth control, no kids to hear it or come into your room.
- Old(er) people still feel like they did in their 30s. It’s only our bodies that belie our age.
- Old(er) people still have active brains even if their experiences and opinions are different than younger – still menstruating – generations.
- Old(er) people use to be young. I know I found it hard to imagine. They/we rebelled against our parents, stayed out late, partied and more.
Stereotypes, labels and generational profiling is a trap that’s easy to fall into, but like racial profiling, it’s dangerous territory – too many mistakes can be made. “When we accept [generational/age] labels, we foster division. Each person, not generation, brings something important to the party. It’s our job to figure out what that is and grow from it.” Dawn Lennon, Business Fitness
About the author…Cherry Woodburn is a speaker, writer and facilitator on behalf of women’s issues and the power of women sharing their stories for growth, healing, fun and community. Cherry blogs at Borderless Thinking and you can also find her on Twitter. Her mantra? Embracing the real you.
Read MoreWednesday Bubble: Holy Hot Flash Menopause Woman!
Bet you never thought you’d hear holy and hot flash in the same sentence! However, it appears that menopausal hot flashes, those bothersome, sweat inducing, embarassment producing, change of clothing inducing symptoms might actually deliver something better than a whole lotta dread. And so, dear readers, after the bad breast cancer news that I delivered on Monday, I’m happy to report some good!
You mean I WANT hot flashes? Well not exactly. But there sure is a interesting paradigm hidden somewhere in the diminishing returns of estrogen, that is, severe, wake you in the middle of the night or interrupt your meeting hot flashes might actually reduce risk for invasive breast cancer.
As we know all too well, menopausal symptoms often occur as estrogen and progesterone levels fluctuate and the ovaries cease to function reproductively. However, utilizing data culled from a study whose original intent was to evaluate the link between hormone therapy and risks of different types of breast cancer, researchers have actually uncovered some positivity! In this study, women between the ages of 50 and 74 were randomly selected based on confirmed invasive breast cancer and then matched by age to healthy women. All were interviewed about their reproductive history, menstruation/menopause history, use of hormones, BMI, medical history, family history of cancer and use of alcohol. They were also asked specifically about their experience with menopausal symptoms, including hot flashes, night sweats, vaginal dryness, bladder issues, irregular menstruation, depression, anxiety, emotional distress and insomnia and requested to rate them based on their frequency and severity.
Interesting enough, women who reported menopausal symptoms had a 40% to 60% lower risk of the type of invasive breast cancer that starts in the milk ducts (i.e., invasive ductal carcinoma or IDC) and invasive breast cancer that starts in the glands at the end of the milk ducts (i.e. invasive lobular carcinoma or ILC). Moreover, reduced risk for these cancers as well as the mixed ductal/lobular type was especially pronounced among women who experienced hot flashes with perspiration or whose hot flashes woke them up compared to women who had hot flashes without perspiration or others symptoms with awakening during the night.
The researchers say that they believe that menopausal symptoms may be markers for hormonal changes that precipitate breast cancer. In other words, pronounced the changes in reproductive hormones may actually be related to breast cancer risk. Less clear are the direct connections between individual symptoms and risk. However, they noted that the relationship between symptoms and risk did not change when hormone use, age when menopause began or BMI were factored into the equation.
Clearly, this is only one study so no firm conclusions can be drawn, at least not yet. But with all the bad news about hormone therapy and breast cancer risk, it’s heartening to learn that the hormones that are wreaking havoc on our lives may actually be protecting us from harm.
Holy hot flash indeed!
Read MoreHormone replacement therapy…timing is everything, right?
Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) continues to be a hot topic in the menopausal world. And no wonder! Because the deeper we dive into the controversies, the more information we seem to learn about its dangers.
If you search for hormone replacement or HRT on this blog, you’ll find that the dialogue has nothing but consistent. And while naysayers may try to accuse me of a personal vendetta against hormones, it’s actually not the case. I started Flashfree for several reasons, the most important being that I wanted to provide enough information about menopause and aging and treatment strategies to enable women to think on their feet, consider the facts and have intelligent dialogues with their peers and practitioners before making any decisions that could affect their health and wellbeing as they grow older. Moreover, although I am a strong proponent of alternative strategies to combat the unpleasantries of dwindling hormones, I still believe strongly in the benefits of certain Western approaches to treating illness. However, I also a strong believer in integrative strategies that combine the best of our knowledge in an individualized fashion; my mantra is ‘treat the individual, not the masses.’ Hence, when I read about the history of the menopause in general and HRT in particular, what I see is disease mongering at its finest, examples of fear and loathing and mostly, a disrespect of women. And I care too much about women’s health to remain silent.
Last Friday, several of my colleagues sent me a link to the following study:
“Breast cancer risk in relation to the interval between menopause and starting hormone therapy.”
This newly-published study in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute is one of the largest to date since the findings of the now infamous Women’s Health Initiative (WHI) study linking Preempro to breast cancer. In it, investigators used observational information culled from over a million postmenopausal women in the United Kingdom to determine how type and timing of hormone therapy might influence the risk of developing breast cancer.
A bit of context is necessary for those of you who are unfamiliar with the major criticisms of WHI, namely that that the women studied were not representative of the normal menopausal population, were older, started hormone therapy later in life (i.e. >5 years from when menopause started) when their risks for disease were greater, and that the type of hormone replacement, namely the progestin component, were not taken into consideration. WHI was also criticized for not focusing on the small percentage of women in the study who took estrogen-only and were not at greater risk for breast cancer. (If you want to read more about that particular issue, check out the write up on data presented at this past year’s San Antonio Breast Cancer Conference.)
In the UK study, the average age of participants was 56.6, considerably younger than the study population in WHI. More than half (55%) of participants reported having used hormones at some point and 35% were current users, and the rest, had never used hormone therapy. Study participants were matched by socioeconomic status, childbirth information, BMI, physical activity, alcohol consumption and smoking to insure that these factors did not influence the study findings.
Overall, 15,759 breast cancers developed and were diagnosed approximately a year and a half after the last point of contact:
- Despite contentions by some experts that starting combination hormonal therapy within 5 years of menopause is safe, women between the ages of 50 and 50 who began HRT less than 5 years after menopause had the highest rates per year of breast cancer — .61% per year — that twice that of women who had never used hormones (.31%).
- Current users of estrogen also demonstrated increased breast cancer rates (.43%) who started hormones within or less than 5 years after menopause started.
- The risk of developing breast cancer was roughly 1.5 times higher among women on combination hormone therapy who started within 5 years than women who started 5 year or more from menopause.
- The risk of developing breast cancer among past users of hormonal therapy tended to decline over time after use of hormones stopped, and within 14 years, were almost equivalent to never users.
Mind you, the study is not without fault and may be criticized on the basis of the fact that it relied on observational information rather than randomized controlled results. In other words, data were collected and then analyzed based on what they inferred. The research might also be questioned due to the fact that information about use of hormones was reported over a year before cancer was diagnosed, thereby possibly leading to mischaracterization of hormone users/non users and estimates of the risk for developing breast cancer. Nevertheless, the researchers say that taking these factors into account, breast cancer risk among hormone users regardless of type, would have increased by a factor of at least 1.2.
The key take-away message from this new study is that it’s may be impossible to define the safest parameter for using hormone therapy. For certain women, HRT may never be safe. For others who are willing to risk life-threatening conditions for fewer hot flashes, HRT may be worth the gamble. As always, ask the hard questions.
Timing is everything, right? Maybe not when it comes to hormone replacement.
Read MoreIce Ice Baby
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Dear Flashfree fans:
I’ve been without power and freezing under the covers since Mama Nature directed her fury at the East Coast (that bitch!). I am behind on my posts but I promise, lots of great stuff coming next week. Meanwhile, I always believe in sharing the love so this one’s for you, Mama.
See you Monday!
Read MoreWednesday Bubble: ‘ch ch ch Chia’
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzY7qQFij_M]
I ran across a piece in yesterday’s New York Times that has ‘Wednesday Bubble’ written all over it: the connection between weight loss and chia seeds. WHAT?!
If you are as old as me, you will remember when Chia Pets first hit market; they were all the craze. Water the terracotta figurine and grow ‘hair.’ Somehow, Chia has both made its way into the “stupid” hall of fame and just keeps on giving; in fact, I’ve lost track of its many iterations since it first appeared on the scene. And yet, it appears that the ‘pet that needs nothing but wet’ has transcended the doopid and entered the health arena.
After I saw the headline in the New York Times and delved into the post, I started to realize that this is no joke; chia is actually being touted as a weight loss agent. In fact, a quick search on Google yielded pages and pages of results and health claims.
Chia or as it’s known in the plant world, Salvia hispanica, is a flowering plant that is native to Mexico and Guatemala. Its seeds are rich in omega-3s and dietary fiber, hence its nutritional value is not without merit. Nevertheless, claims that it can be used for weight loss or to promote health appear to be.
Before you run out to your local health food store, here’s what you need to know:
- Chia originally demonstrated promise in animal (rat) studies in terms of its effects on blood fats and blood sugars, leading to interest in its potential usefulness in humans and health.
- Thereafter, studies evaluating chia seed in humans did not show any specific benefit in terms of weight loss and questionable benefit on heart disease and diabetes. Other claims, such as use in allergies, to enhance athletic performance, prevent cancer, or boost the immune system are currently considered to be false.
- Chia has been safely consumed for decades and continues to be ingested regularly. But it is not without risk and both its high fiber content and omega-3 content can lead to digestive problems if chia seeds are ingested in huge amounts.
Like any quick fix, chia isn’t going to solve your weight issues. Battling weight gain in the face of aging and swinging hormones is tough! However, it’s important to be sensible; there’s only two rules of thumb: move your body, frequently and watch your intake of calories, fats, sugar and alcohol.
The Chia? Water it, watch it grow and move on. Ain’t no weight loss panacea and chia ain’t nothing but a pet.
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