Have you heard of VaginaCon? If not, you need to click your way over to the site, which as co-founded by the amazing Nina Perez. VaginaCon is a safe place for women to connect with one another and build relationships. Sort of like Flashfree but on a broader scale. But I digress because this post is really about Nina. I was fortunate to meet Nina via the Interwebz when were were members of the same Facebook group. She is an astonishingly creative, intelligent go-getter who is redefining the meaning of ‘hawt.’ More importantly, however, is that last week, Nina posted a raw and honest piece about her weight loss journey and self-acceptance. Frankly, the post resonated so deeply that I asked if I could repost it here.
The next time you start criticizing yourself about your weight, beating yourself up about falling short of impossible goals or creating a standard that is a bit out of the realm of possibilities, step back. Carve those goals into smaller pieces. And take a look back in the mirror. Bet you’ll see what others are seeing; the beauty that is you.
Yeah, sounds cheesy but Nina has shared a journey that demonstrates that it’s really true. And by the way Nina? You are one hot gorgeous woman inside and out.
Show some love, eh?
When I started my weight loss journey on January 2, 2012, I was 238lbs. The healthy weight for my height falls between 143lbs and 179lbs.
Even if I were aiming for the high end, 179lbs seemed far, far away and losing 59lbs seemed like something that would take a long ass time. I gave myself a year. But still, a year? Holy hell.
Like most people fed up with being overweight, I wanted the pounds to melt away. I knew almost immediately that I’d have to set mini-goals to keep my head in the game. Luckily, Weight Watchers sets your first two goals for you: First, you strive to lose 5% of your starting weight. For me, that was 11.5lbs. I hit that by January 25th. Next, it was 10%.
But to keep it interesting, and to keep myself motivated, I gave myself goals that had nothing to do with the number on the scale along with a few that did. For instance:
- I wanted to be 214lbs by March 23rd when I had the first VaginaCon at my house. (Did it.)
- I wanted to be less than 200lbs by my birthday, August 18th. (Done.)
- I wanted to fit into a size 16 jeans. (Been there, did that.)
- I wanted to fit into a size 14 jeans. (In them now.)
- I wanted to wear my sexy shoes again without feeling like I was asking way too much of my impossibly high heels – they have their limits, too.
- I wanted smaller panties.
- I wanted to stop wearing XL t-shirts.
Me at 204lbs.
There was one mini-goal I didn’t give much thought to, until I hit it, and it was the first one I achieved. One day, after losing about 8-11lbs, I was walking down the stairs wearing nothing but a short nightgown. As I hit the first floor, I realized something was different. To test that it wasn’t a fluke, I began to briskly pace in my kitchen. My husband came downstairs and asked, “What the hell are you doing?”
“My thighs aren’t rubbing together!”
I was thrilled.
But what about my overall goal? What should I shoot for between 143-179? I’m not very good at looking at someone and judging their height and weight. I couldn’t tell you what 175lbs looks like on a person who is 6-feet-tall or someone who’s 5’5″. In that picture above, I wouldn’t be able to guess that was 204lbs.
After some thought, I decided that 180lbs would be my look-and-see weight. I’ll get to 180 and then look and see if I like it.
Me at 180lbs
How do I look in my jeans? Can I wear a bathing suit again without wanting to cry in shame? For as much as this is about being healthy and making sure I’m around to see my kids grow up, it’s also about, for me, how I look. I don’t want fat hanging over the waistline of my jeans, and I like my ass to look firm in them. I had a vague memory of what 180 looked like on me (see above), but more importantly, I know how I want to look and feel in my clothes.
I’m always looking at other women who are my height and (in my opinion) in great shape, wondering how much they weigh. While I want to be thinner, I don’t want to lose curves. So, that’s why when Donny and I went to see Prometheus – a horrible movie despite starring two of my Freebie Five: Michael Fassbender and Idris Elba – back in June, and I saw Charlize Theron, I whispered to my husband, “New goal weight: Charlize Theron!”
I went home and did a Google search: How much does Charlize Theron weigh? Granted, I’m not sure this information is entirely accurate, but word on the internet streets is that she is my height and weighs 135lbs.
Um, no.
I am never going to be 135lbs again. That’s just not happening. That’s below my supposed healthy weight range! If I were younger, and perhaps easily swayed by what celebrities do, I might try to hit 135lbs, but thankfully I am neither of those things. While I still feel like I would love to look like this in my clothes:
… I’m just gonna have to rock that at about 170′ish…and with a little more curve.
What is your ultimate weight goal? Do you have mini-goals that are not determined by the scale? What about weight loss milestones like an upcoming party or other special event?
About Nina Perez…
Nina Perez is the author of The Twin Prophecies: Rebirth, Blog It Out, B*tch, and The Twin Prophecies: Origins (Summer 2012). She is co-founder of VaginaCon.com, a contributor to Milk & Ink: A Mosaic of Motherhood, Choose or Die, Elephant Words and one of the merry band of independent authors rocking it hard at the Literary Underground. Her short story, Amongst the Tulips, was published in Foliate Oaks online literary magazine and their editors voted it one of the best short stories of 2009. She also runs the book review site for independent authors, Nina’s Nightstand.
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