Wednesday Bubble: Let’s talk about sex…again

Posted by Liz on Nov 24, 2010 in sexual desire, sexual health | 0 comments

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzfo4txaQJA]

True confession: I’ve already posted this video previously but I love the song so indulge me won’t you? And while we’re at it, let’s indulge in these two completely divergent headlines:

Middle-aged Americans unhappy about sex vs. We may be broke, but at least we’re having more sex than ever before!

Um, Okay. So..are we or aren’t we?

The first headline belongs to a Washington Post article highlighting results from a recent Associated Press survey of Boomers (45 to 65 year olds). The findings? In summary, “faced with performance problems, menopause blues and an increased mismatch of expectations between the sexes, middle-aged Americans are the unhappiest people of all when it comes to making love.” For example:

• 24% of 45 to 65 year olds express dissatisfaction with their sex lives
• Nearly three in five women and half of men have stopped experimenting and claim to know all they need to about sex
• 48% of men’s expectations are not being met in the bedroom in terms of their partners not desiring sex however, two in five men in this age group have problems with sexual functioning, compared to 19% of women

The second headline belongs to a piece that appears on an Irish website regarding a Durex survey geared towards a slightly younger age group (25 to 34), but like the AP study, also makes comparisons to younger and older groups. Not only does this piece highlight results of the large study that appeared in the Journal of Sexual Medicine suggesting that Americans of all ages were having more sex than ever, but also reports that:

• The ‘over-55’ set is having sex at least once weekly
• Almost three-quarters of respondents believe that sex gets better with age
• Women are as eager as their male counterparts to have sex
• A growing number of Irish men and women are broadening their sexual horizons and re-engaging in the Swinger scene

Confused yet? Which of these bubbles needs to be burst?

All three of these reports are surveys, although only one qualifies as a bonefide study (the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior). And this particular survey doesn’t necessarily highlight major issues when it comes to sex and Boomers. Even more ironic is that the AP survey appears to have been done for a website that features an article on sex over age 50 that actually disputes the findings.

Wow! So, shall we talk about sex? I mean, really talk about it. I truly don’t believe that the generation that brought sexual exploration out of the closet is driving it back into the closet and abandoning it altogether. Life changes, physical changes, environment changes, relationship changes…sex changes. Let’s talk about something that matters for a change, like the “why’s,” “how’s” and “what if’s.”

I’ve said it before and I will say it again. No matter what life transition you are in, work it, don’t let it work you. That includes sex.