Guest post: Explore your P.A.S.S.I.O.N.: an excerpt from ‘The Fearless Factor’

Posted by Liz on Oct 5, 2009 in Inspiration | 1 comment

I was recently asked to read Author and Motivational Speaker Jacqueline Wales’ book The Fearless Factor, an overview of her journey of self-discovery and self-fulfillment. The deeper I delved, the more intrigued I became with her personal struggles and with her story, and the more convinced I was that her messages fit well with those of Flashfree — namely that honoring the things that challenge us the most is the greatest gift that we can give to ourselves. As Jacqueline writes “It’s hard to get anything done if you don’t believe in all you can be.”

Here’s an excerpt. Enjoy!

Three years ago I started Fearless Fifties, and as I reflected on what my life has been I realized that P.A.S.S.I.O.N. was an acronym for the seven stages I went through to make changes in my life, and it applies equally to everyone I’ve ever spoken with about the nature of change. The seven steps are Permission, Action, Strength, Support, Inspiration, Owning (confidence) and Nurture.

• Permission. Step number one was giving myself Permission to move beyond the limitations and fears that held me in a negative grip, Permission to step away from asking others if it was okay for me to live my life the way I wanted. Permission granted to myself to create whatever I wanted. To take a new direction. To make decisions that were good for me.
• Action. I had to make a plan, or at least have a sense that whatever’ wanted was possible if’ would only do things differently. I began to focus on what was true to me.’ began to think about what it would take for me to do what I wanted to do. To become who I wanted to become. To write well, I need teachers, to sing well, I need teachers, to become a black belt in karate, I needed teachers. But I also needed com­mitment and focus, and a stick-to-it attitude that evolved as I made my plans.
• Strength. When I took action I began to under­stand my own Strength. All my life I had battled the demons of insecurity, lack of self-esteem, depres­sion, and abuse. I began to understand that not everyone makes it through to this other side. Many, like my brother, end up in jail, or, like my father, succumb to the deadly grip of drugs and alcohol. You could say the deck was stacked against my succeeding, but somewhere buried under the dung heap was the belief that there was always something more for me. On reflection, I realized that it took enormous strength of will to overcome many of these obstacles, and that would continue to support me in my forward motion.
• Support. As I developed my strengths, I searched for Support to help me get further along the path. I found therapists, coaches, inspirational speakers, books and tapes to educate myself and learn from the past Getting support was the key to my success. Without these amazing guides on my journey, I would never have known which path to take.
• Inspiration. On this journey through my own jungle , received Inspiration from all the people I had worked with, and met. As a result, , was hungry for more and began to feel confident about what I was doing.
• Own It. Developing confidence takes time, and a lot of people who believe in you as you learn how to believe in yourself.’ began to Own who’ was becoming because’ could see ME more clearly. I removed the veil of the past and’ developed confidence in my skills, my experiences, and my knowledge. I called it standing in my own shoes.
• Nurturing. I had to learn how to Nurture myself. I gave myself permission to do what was good for me, had regular massages, went to visit the chiropractor, and exercised regularly. Stopped drinking, gave up drugs, learned how to speak to me with kindness and compassion, and did this because I realized if I took care of me , could then take care of others more appropriately.

The passion I speak of is the thing that gets you out of bed in the morning. in the best possible circumstances, passion drives your choices around work, money, relationships, and what to do with the rest of your life.

The first step to putting PASSION into your life is PERMISSION.

We make too many excuses for what we don’t do and why we can’t do it, and we frequently ask if it’s okay for us to be doing something instead of stepping up and saying, “This is what I need to do. This is what I will do. This is all about me, not you.” We apologize for our existence, instead of celebrating it. We don’t ask for what we want, until it’s too late when we realize we are not getting what we want. So you must give yourself permission to live life on your own terms.

Finding your passion is essential to living your best life. I have never worked harder, nor felt so fulfilled as I do at this time. Learning how to give myself what I needed was the key.

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A question for the author

What does it mean to be fearless in midlife? Is there any distinction in the approach based on where women are in their emotional, physical and social strata during this time in the lives?

We have reached a place where we are free from many of constrictions of family and career.  Many are experiencing empty nest, and are exploring new ways of being in the world.  We may have established ourselves in a career that is still thriving, while others may be asking what they want to do for the rest of their lives and are looking for meaning and purpose as they follow their passions, or are deciding what passions were left behind in the day to day tasks.  Many are also choosing to end long term relationships because they no longer fill their needs.  It is almost like a second adolescence in that there is a sense of greater freedom.  However, for many, these changes come with fears, doubts and anxieties about growing older, about retirement and financial risks, about not  having enough to be comfortable in later life, or having health issues.

All of these are reason enough to stay stuck, but being fearless in midlife is more about facing those challenges and looking for new ways to approach things. I like to say, ‘It’s My Turn’ and also “It’s not about age…it’s about attitude.”  It goes a long way to finding the right solutions to the problem. That’s why ‘The Fearless Factor’ was written.

About Jacqueline Wales…Jacqueline Wales is known the world over as The Black Belt Millionaire.  Her unique programs have helped women around the globe develop strong personal success, confident communication and clear visions of their goals. She is the author of five books including The Fearless Factor.