Wednesday Bubble: We Ain’t No April Fool’s

Posted by Liz on Apr 1, 2009 in sexual desire, sexual health | 2 comments

Jane Brody. You disappoint me. I wonder why you would lend your name and esteemed reputation to a rather narrow treatise on diminishing sexual desire during menopause and treatments half-answers to an issue that is not just physical but also emotional.

In all fairness, in an article published yesterday’s New York Times Health section Brody provides a thorough introduction to the “why’s” underlying changes in sexual desire. Indeed, I encourage readers of this blog to check it out as the personal anecdotes coupled with scientific information are nteresting and informative. But that’s where the article stops to inform and turns to the old paradigm “menopause as a disease.”

Brody suggests that Estrotest (a drug containing estrogen and testosterone) and transdermal (through the skin) estrogen formulations may help. She also recommends lubricants, and use of the antidepressant Wellbutrin.  And she does give self-stimulation a blip, even though that’s where she stops.

So in the most respectful way possible, I’d like to suggest that we ain’t no fools. In fact, with regards to testosterone,  data have been anything but favorable as of late. So, ladies, let’s take a look at a positive, empowering non-therapeutic approach that encompasses wellness and self-esteem.

The following was written last November. I am reposting it today to lend another perspective on the issue of hormones and sexual desire.

I’ve written several posts about the use of testosterone for sexual dysfunction in menopausal women and its less than pleasant side effects, such as unwanted hair growth and development of the metabolic syndrome.

Fortunately, Dr. Christiane Northrup has a different and much healthier perspective about sexual dysfunction during the transition.

One of the first things she writes, in her newly published “The Secret Pleasures of Menopause,” is that an important key to achieving health and healthy sex during and after the menopause is to boost one’s nitric oxide levels. Nitric oxide, she explains, is a free radical produced in the lining of blood vessels, by lung and white blood cells, and nerve cells in the brain, that “resets your power grid and reboots your body, a secret weapon for optimal health.”

In order to produce more nitric oxide, you need to engage your mind, body an spirit in positive activities, such as:

• associating with positive people
• eating healthily and exercising
• being kind/taking pride in yourself
• realizing you are what you believe
• letting go of the past and embracing the present
• understanding that health and sex go hand-in-hand

Dr. Northrup suggests that we become “ardent explorers” of our own pleasure, in essence, become our own partners in sex. Turn ourselves on and tell ourselves often that a turned on woman is irresistible. Recognize and release anger as much as we can. Commit to regularly exploring our pleasure potential and live our lives in ways that “excite, motivate, and turns on” other people in our lives.

A few additional tidbits:

• Think heartwarming, sexy, uplifting, kind, loving and positive thoughts about yourself and others EVERY DAY
• Strive for commitment, trust and vulnerability with your partner
• Do things that keep you in touch with your life force…cultivate your inner pleasure and exchange it for stress, and decide that this half of your life is really the best
• Get out of your head and into your body….regularly

Desire pleasure, know that you deserve it, believe you can bring it into your life, overcome your resistance to accepting it, and embrace it.

Honestly, I’m not usually into this touchy feely stuff. But I encourage you to read Dr. Northup’s book and start to practice some of these positive, life affirming, love affirming steps. Pleasure truly starts within by changing our mindsets about our limitations, we can  fine tune our bodies in ways that make us and others feel great.

As Dr. Northrup says, our bodies were made to experience unlimited pleasure.

And of course, pleasure begets pleasure….