I can’t think a better way to start the week than with a guest post from one of my favorite business bloggers – Productivity Expert Kris Rowlands. Kris writes Fresh Focus and produces the enewsletter the Inner Sanctum. If you’re having difficulty organizing your time or getting things done, Kris is the guru to turn to. Thanks and say hello to Kris!
Liz and I chat on Twitter almost daily, and she invited me to do a guest post here at Flashfree. Thanks, Liz!
So, you’re careening towards midlife. The kids are out of the house and you are suddenly faced with the fact that you are no longer needed as you used to be. What do you do to make that transition easier?
If it was me in that situation, I’d sit down and make a list of all the things that I’ve wanted to do in life, but never had the chance. I’d also revel in the fact that I have every day to make a contribution to either myself, or someone else.
When you have made contributions into your own family for such a long time, it can leave a hole within yourself when you are no longer contributing as much. You suddenly realize that you have time to take care of yourself and maybe you’re not quite sure where to start. So let’s take a look at the areas of self that you’ll need to address.
- Body: You can now work on anything that you’ve wanted to do with your body. You can rejuvenate it by exercise, pamper it by going to the spa, or just really listen to what your body tells you, and take your direction from there. You’ve been so long listening to others and hearing their needs that you may need to tune back into your body to be able to hear it once again.
- Mind: Feed your mind! Go back to school, take some classes or seminars that have always interested you, or read to your hearts’ content. There are so many things to do to feed your mind nowadays that the options are endless.
- Soul: Get in tune with your soul. Depending on your beliefs, you could get involved in your church, join a support group to help others, or get your chakras aligned. You could also volunteer at an organization helping others or animals. The options are endless! Do what makes you feel good.
Most importantly, get back in touch with your “self”. Re-discover who you are and what your goals will be with the newly found time that you have on your hands.
What are you going to do or have you done to go through the transition? Let’s chat in the comments! I’d love to hear your thoughts!
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Kris Rowlands is a Professional Productivity & Organization Coach. You can find her daily on her blog, http://freshfocus.info. As well as blogging to the world, she also does private coaching and consultation, always with the utmost confidentiality. Her thoughts are new, unique, and with a fresh focus on Getting Things Done.
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Thanks for allowing me the privilege of posting here on FF Liz. I can’t wait to have a guest post on FFOP from you! 😉
Hope you’ll comment on this post so we can start a dialogue
My kids are hardly gone (aged 13, 11, 10) but they need less of me on a minute-to-minute basis. Over the last year, I’ve worked hard to add my girlfriends back into my life in a more regular way – without the kids. For me, that’s a great first step!
Wendy,
Bringing your friends back in is a great thing to do. What things do you do with them?
This is a great guest post…and I can relate to the need to do things for yourself. After more than two decades, I started taking piano lessons, art classes and became a master gardener, volunteering to help people with their gardens through the county extension service. My satisfaction with these activities has given me a new lease on life. Now, I just have to do more to improve my body (which has ballooned since I stopped working in an office full time!!!!). I’m walking the dog and doing water aerobics, but not a pound has been lost yet. But I’m not gaining anymore weight…so we’ll keep working on it. I also think that I’ll do the Marine Corps Marathon (walking) again (it’s been 3 years since I last did it)in 2009. In any case, I wanted to share my joy with doing things I’ve put off for years…
Thanks for the post!
Lori
Lori,
It’s great that you’ve connected and re-found the joy that you one had for these things – I’m sure it makes you very happy!
You must have a very busy social calendar. Thanks for interacting!
I was a single parent of a single daughter for 20 years. When she left home to start her own life the emptiness in the house was profound. So was the silence. After a brief period of celebratory mourning for what was – celebratory because I raised a healthy child who turned into a beautiful adult – I got used to the silence, fell in love with it. I took the time to reinvent myself, an on-going process. I got an MA in English while my daughter was in college. Three years later I found a way to take a 1.5 year sabbatical to try creative writing, and I’ve written a sound screenplay (about, what else, menopausal women in search of salvation). Three weeks ago, at the hot age of 50, I remarried. Whether or not I make a list, there never seems to be enough time, or silence. For me, that’s just life.
It’s the Peace Corps for me. Sometimes it’s the mantra that gets me through the superficiality of everyday life. When my daughter — who has a closet full of clothes — says she doesn’t have anything to wear. I think about the day that I can dedicate my life to helping people have basic things like food, water and education. Thanks for the inspiring post!
Diane,
Isn’t it interesting how as we mature, we begin to value the small things in life such as silence? As we mature, our values and what’s important re-focuses.
Congrats on the marriage! Best of wishes to you both!
Linda,
Peace Corp……..WOW! Now THAT’S excitement! What exactly do you do in the Peace Corp?
I understand about your statement regarding your daughter. The “Now” generation has a ways to go until they realize just exactly what is important.
Great reminder post. My wife have already started on your recommendations.
Since our youngest is 18 going on 19, we’ve been going on trips, getting more involved in church and working on our weight.
Great advice.
Great post Kris. I am almost there (first one in college, second one in 11th grade) although I have always worked and had way more interests than time i do not feel as if i have neglected the me in my family, but i do find that many friends have and have lost their way to finding who they are. I will surely pass this post on to them.
As the kids got older, the realization that the all encompassing momness of being was going to come to a grinding halt. sad, but not really. As Diane said, growing a child into a beautiful adult is the whole point of motherhood.
Come to think of it, i could use a spa weekend…
Todd,
Glad to hear that you are preparing. It’s always good to plan ahead for when the time will come. Sometimes people are so into the thick of their lives that they forget to plan ahead!
amyz5,
It’s good that you haven’t forgotten to take care of the “me” in the equation. Moms often forget that they have to take care of themselves before they can take care of others! I’ll join you on that spa weekend! 🙂