Something to chew on: menopause gum

Posted by on Jun 26, 2009 in humour, Uncategorized | 3 comments


Hey ladies! Now you can just chew the menopause [blues/anxiety/hot flashes, mood swings, night sweats, heart palpitations, urinary problems AND vaginal dryness] away! Wow – who knew it was so simple? In fact, Zoft Menopause Gum will cure what ails you in just weeks if not days, with the added benefit of fighting dental decay.

So what’s in this miracle gum you ask?

“Zoft Menopause Gum is a space age blend of Dong Quai Root, Black Cohosh Root Extract, Damiana Leaf, and Mexican Wild Yam Root.  Until now, no culture has had all these ingredients in a single formula.”

This space-age product has evidently been featured on ‘The View’ not once, but twice, which of course, provides an authoritative testimonial as to its efficacy.

Wait! There’s more….the company also offers breast gum to enlarge your breasts WITHOUT surgery, and hoodia gum to help you get back into that size 4 pair of jeans.  And just in case your partner feels left out, the company also manufactures stress gum and virility gum.

Guess if you order now you might even get ‘My Lil Reminder’ as an added bonus.


  1. 6-26-2009

    That is too funny! I’m gonna go order mine now.

  2. 6-27-2009

    oh my, this sounds like one of my posts. remember the ‘does this gum make my ass look fat’?

    i might need to buy this for my first thursday girls at the next 50th bday dinner!

    • 6-27-2009

      But this gum takes itself seriously. I think that you should do a gift pac for all the girls!


  1. The Roundup: June’s News and Tidbits « Flashfree - [...] Something to chew on – menopause gum -  A one-stop shop for gum chewers? Or another scam? Possibly…

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