Are you rubberstamping the ‘cougar’ narrative?

Posted by on Jun 22, 2009 in Inspiration, Uncategorized | 7 comments

I’ve been somewhat amused and a wee bit miffed at the double standards placed upon women who “prey” on younger men. While their sugar daddy counterparts get away with endless forays into the dating world without nary a word, these women are dubbed “cougars” and frowned upon. However, have you ever considered that these younger men don’t feel preyed upon at all but prefer the company of a well-rounded, intelligent, sexy woman who can titillate their minds, souls AND bodies?

Perhaps the cougar ‘narrative’ and its fallacies should be put to rest.

If you have even a wee bit of doubt about what I’m saying, I’d like to introduce you to 73-year-old Rio de Janero resident Lina Merceis. Lina is the star of a documentary short entitled “Bye Bye, Cest Fini,” and the ultimate inspiration for any woman who believes that life ends at midlife and beyond. Lina, having suffered early disappointments in marriage and love, is now dedicating herself to herself. Lina deliberately chooses the single life, claiming that men are too much work. ‘Seductress to a slew of 30 somethings,  she enjoys her lovers, acknowledges her occasional loneliness, and confesses to a good friend (as they sit on the beach eying the candy) that sex and fun are her life prescriptions not options. Not surprisingly, the young men who are fortunate to become one of Lina’s lovers are happy to oblige.

My friend Twitter friend Erika over at Redheaded Fury wrote an interesting missive last week in response to a Denver Post article about ‘Cougars on the Prowl.’ Her point? That society’s caricature of the lonely older woman preying on younger men might not be entirely accurate. I think that Lina is a testament to that. More importantly, watching Lina onscreen taught me that  life gets started when you decide, not when something (or someone) else does.

Take the reins ladies; there’s no time like the present to write your own narrative (and be proud of it).


  1. 6-22-2009

    loved the film clips!
    and loved the post.

    • 6-22-2009

      Thank you!

  2. 6-22-2009

    I do not perceive the term ‘cougar’ as negative. That may be a perception born from years in the live entertainment business where I spent many nights voyeuristically watching the ‘mating dance’.
    From observation and conversation my experience indicates that younger men (late 20s – mid-30s) are ‘on the prowl’ for older women. So there seems to be a mutual interest.
    Is there a double standard? Depends upon the standard. I subscribe to the Camille Paglia notion that in matters of gender social/sexual interaction woman are always in the ‘position’ of power.
    After the conversation ends, the bottom line is, as you state in your post ‘life gets started when you decide’ – and on your terms ladies.

    • 6-22-2009

      Steve – interesting POV. But the core trouble is that society doesn’t judge these young men or “sugar dads” in the same harsh way that they do women. If the judgment stops, perhaps we can embrace the mutual interest aspect and leave the “preying” out of the equation.

      • 11-26-2011

        I guess finding useful, raelible information on the internet isn’t hopeless after all.

  3. 6-22-2009

    My first post on my blog was about this very subject. I know many women who call themselves cougars, and think it’s funny. Unfortunately, I agree with you that it’s been given a predatory, negative connotation.

    • 6-22-2009

      Maureen – I have not problem with the term per se, just want it connotes! Many thanks for your continued visits to this blog!


  1. The Roundup: June’s News and Tidbits « Flashfree - [...] Are you rubberstamping the cougar narrative? Meet Lina, a hot Brazilian 73-year-old who is defying boundaries in more ways…
  2. The Roundup: 2009 « Flashfree - [...] Are you rubberstamping the cougar narrative? – Meet Lina, the cougar of cougars who’s turning the notion of cougars…

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