Just chew your [fill in the blank] away…with Zoft

Posted by Liz on Oct 28, 2011 in humour, menopause | 1 comment

[Photo does not depict actual product]

No! It really works! And it’s as easy as chewing gum.”

“What’s that,” you ask?

Now you can just chew the menopause [blues/anxiety/hot flashes, mood swings, night sweats, heart palpitations, urinary problems AND vaginal dryness] away! Wow – who knew it was so simple? In fact, Zoft ® Balance Gum (previously called Zoft Menopause Gum) will cure what ails you in just weeks if not days, with the added benefit of fighting dental decay, improving concentration AND fighting bad breath.

Zoft balance is a unique blend of Dong Quai Root, Black Cohosh Root Extract, Damiana Leaf, and Mexican Wild Yam Root, harnessing the power of indigenous knowledge to fight menopausal symptoms. Moreover, this breakthrough has  been featured on ‘The View’ not once, but TWICE, which of course, provides an authoritative testimonial as to its efficacy.

Wait! There’s more….the company also offers Fulfill gum (pun intended???)  to enlarge your breasts WITHOUT surgery, and Slim gum to help you get back into that size 4 pair of jeans.  And just in case your partner feels left out, the company manufactures Relax gum to take that stress out of his or her life.

One-stop shopping for all that ails. Chew on that, won’t you?